A Series Of Events

I Always Hurt The Ones I Love The Most

My grandmother was my pillar,
even when I already knew how to stand.
She washed away my doubts and fears
and, like a hatchling, fed me from her hand;
though, how have I shown my gratitude?
I spat her wisdom and guidance in the face.
How did I reward her life-long of servitude?
I turned my back on her, perpetually, at every corner. 

My mother only ever loved me unconditionally,
fought relentlessly to give me the world- and more;
yet I've never shown her an ounce of respect, or acknowledgment.
My mother gave her entire life to us, and all before
I ever thanked her for all she sacrificed for me.
all she ever dreamed of, was having us all together
and when her dream finally became a reality,
I couldn't get out of our home any quicker. 

My brother is the most selfless person I know;
I've been taking advantage of that ever since I could remember,
yet he never ceased to care or share or sacrifice for me.
When the world got too much for me, he was my shelter.
He gave everything he had and I took it gladly,
though in truth I only ever saw him as a side-line lifeline.
All I ever gave him was a few laughs and many headaches,
I should've given you more than a fraction of my time.

 
My love was my everything, or so I claimed.
I was his everything, yet in the end love wasn't enough:
He never complained or felt drained or walked away,
even when I abused him and used him and our love;
I lied and cheated and betrayed every bit of his trust.
He forgave the unforgivable and maintained his patience,
though I could never reflect his devotion and belief in "us".
I argued I loved him more, though in my heart I knew he loved me the most.

I just always expected them to be there,
no matter how high the cost had seemed.
I never cared to play even slightly fair,
always trusted that their love could be redeemed.
everything I received from them I took for granted.
I always said love was all I ever needed, ever wanted
but in the end, it was love I pushed away the most.
I killed them all inside, but still-without hesitation- they kept me close. 

They all knew exactly what I was,
yet they loved me anyway.
I knew they knew who I was,
and that they loved me despite it;
I never tried to change of better myself-
even though they deserved it.