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"I'm scared, Katsuki."
He sighs. A long sigh, with the rise-and-fall of his shoulders almost exaggerated. For a moment, there is no response but then, with a hint of comfort (or pride, she can't tell), he replies,
"Don't be. I'm here."
Dipping his head to his words, she grows suddenly aware of how she's been ripping bits of her nails off - it's disgusting, she thinks to herself, and it's a habit she has to get quit sometime soon.
"I know, and thank you, but-" her words snag on her throat; when they've freed themselves, they fall out at an uncontrollable pace,"but I'm scared, Katsuki, I'm so fucking scared. What if I don't want to be a hero? Why did I come to this school? I don't want to fight villains, I just want to be alone in a cottage somewhere in the country, not in the city streets risking my life for a stranger who won't care. Tell me Katsuki - what's the point?"
Before he has time to reply, she continues in a more panicked tone, "everyone's acting like they're an adult now, but I'm a child and I just want to do the stupid stuff that children do. Everyone's growing up too fast, we're just teens, why are we planning our lives already? What are you going to do if you can't become a hero, Katsuki, what qualifications will you have but a little training license that's worthless in the real world?"
"I'm going to become a hero," he growls, fuelled by passion rather than anger towards her, "because I'm going to surpass All Might."
"But, what if-"
"What if- bullshit. Don't stress about shit so much." In an almost nervous movement, he reaches out and grabs her hand - his clasp tight, yet matching the curves of her palm perfectly. "I'll always be here."
She commands herself to be relaxed, forcing air out of her lungs. As much as her panic-diseased mind well never settle with what he says, her heart knows he'll never leave. There is a kind of inevitability about their futures being intertwined. When she's crying late at night, she imagines what her story may be like in ten years. Katsuki is always there (with slightly longer hair since she's been trying to convince him to grow it out for a year now, but the same old idiosyncrasies), and he's returning home from work - cursing and complaining - but he has a soft smile on his lips as they watch the TV together, with her leaning her head on his shoulder. Peace.
"I don't mean to be so- so-" she apologises, attempting in vain to explain her paranoia and fear of the future, "I guess we're all a bit stressed right now, huh?"
Bakugo nods.
Bakugo nods because, as she mumbles something in his direction, all he can focus on is the two events going on over and over in his head: All Might in his weakened state, with his head hanging, and the pathetic sympathy on Deku's face as he approached him, offering a hand. Bakugo hates it. Not only has he fallen behind Deku - stupid, quirkless Deku - but he single-handedly destroyed the idol he had always admired. No longer is it hard to understand why he's been called a villainous character; now, he calls himself a villain too.
"Hey, Katsuki, you know I'm here for you too. Just if there was everything on your mind, or if you just wanted- I dunno- sorry, ignore me."
"Don't be dumb," he scoffs, jaw tensed, "I have no problems, it's just you being an idiot, and it's my job to look after you."
In his head, he now just hears his own pathetic voice crack, from a memory he needs to forget, playing on repeat.
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Justabrokenspirit
