The girl that I found inside me

The trip

The summer came which meant the end of my senior year in high school. I was secretly dressing as a girl for three months now. I got quite good at picking clothes and makeup. However not being able to be a girl in the public was making me fealing that something is missing. I was getting more and more convinced that I have to do something about it. It would be great to spend the whole day as a girl, so I started to wonder how I could arrange that. At the beginning of summer there was this RPG convention in London that was only one hour ride from Chelmsford where I lived. It was a perfect opportunity that I decided to take. I planned to go to the convention by train and change in the train's toilet so nobody from my town could possibly see me.

The waiting for the convention was unbearable, but finally that day has come. I packed a few things that I took earlier from Megan's room. I didn't want to stay too long in the train's toilet so I decided that I will dress as Michele and put some male clothes over it. It was too hot for opaque tights so I had to make an additional bold move and shave my legs. They felt really smooth and nice. I hoped that Megan wouldn't notice it. I will have to wear long trousers for at least two weeks, but it was worth it. I picked something simple to wear. Just a brown corduroy over knee skirt, long sleeve striped white-brown top and sheer black tights.

For a second I just wanted to go like this to the train station, but It would be too risky I guess. I had to be a little more patient. I've put some trousers, socks and a jumper over my girly clothes. Then I looked at myself closely in the mirror to make sure that nothing could be seen and finally took my bag and went out of the house.

Knowing that under this layer of male clothes I'm already a girl was exhilarating. I imagined myself without those clothes. Only in my skirt, top and tights, just as I suppose to be. Only a few minutes more and that's how I will look and it will be for the whole day! My excitement rose with every step closer to the train station.

The walk wasn't long and I finally arrived at the station. I bought the ticket and boarded my train. There wasn't much people, which was good. I quickly got into trains toilet and locked the door. My whole body was shaking in excitement. I quickly took off my shoes, socks, trousers and jumper and that was it. I was finally a girl outside of my house. I've put on black lace up booties that I've packed earlier. They looked perfect with that outfit. I fixed my hair for a minute, put some hair pins here and there. Then I started to do some quick makeup. Nothing special, just eyeliner, maskara and dark red lipstick. I wanted to do my nails, but I'll be occupying the toilet for too long, if somebody would like to use it they could get suspicious. Finally I've put some earrings clips, a bracelet and a small pendant.

And with that I was finally ready to publicly be Michele for the first time. I hesitated for a second, but I found my courage, unlocked the door and went outside. First test of my look was just after that, because some guy was waiting to go to the toilet. He passed next to me and discretely looked at me from head to toes. I knew this look, he was checking me out! Wow, I didn't know that this is so visible and obvious. When I was checking out girls before I was sure that they didn't know. Well, that's an eye opener. What was most important, he didn't seam to be suspecting a thing. He looked at me and he thought that I'm a girl. Realization of that fact was just great. I walked toward my seat. Passing by all those strangers made me stressed and a little dizzy. If anybody would notice that I'm not a girl I would be in serious trouble, it's not like I could escape from runing train. To calm myself I started to repeat the thought "Don't worry, they don't see anything, your just a girl. Just a normal girl like any other girls". It worked well, I calmed down and repeating to myself that I'm a girl was both pleasant and building my confidence.

Finally I found my seat. I was alone in my compartment. That was great, cause I could do my nails after all. I took the nailpolish from the backpack. It was cherry red. I started to apply it on my nails. The compartment filled with the smell of nail polish, I hoped that nobody would get in before I finished. I didn't want to attract too much attention. Unfortunately I didn't have any luck here. When I finished applying the first layer of nail polish on my left hand, a cute blond girl entered the compartment. She was about my age, tall and slim. She was wearing a jeans skirt and white top.

- Hi - she said cheerfully

- Hi, I'm sorry I will clean this up - I said while putting away the nail polish

- Oh no, please. Continue. - she said smiling

- Thanks - I was feeling really unsure about that, but guess if she's ok with that than more believable move would be continuing what I was doing - I just didn't have time for it

- Oh, trust me, I know how it is. - she smiled at me with sympathy - when you oversleep and still have to get ready but in half of normal time. And you still need to look pretty at the end, cause the world won't forgive you if you won't be. Am I right?

- Yeah

This was great. I was sitting there, being a girl, talking with another girl, about being a girl, like it would be something totally normal for me.

- Love the color - she nodded at my nails

- Thanks, it's my favourite - it really was, even if I had occasion to put it on only few times before

- I don't think I used such colour any time

- Well... - this girl was really friendly and I really liked this girl-talk so to pump it up even more I said - maybe I can do you next?

- Realy?

- Yeah sure

- Well... Ok then - she smiled widely - maybe it will become my favorite too

- Great! Just give me a minute I'm about to finish mine

- Don't rush, we have plenty of time... I'm Alice by the way

- I'm Michele - saying my girly name to a stranger was way better than saying it to myself. Suddenly I felt so confident with my femininity, like I forgot at all that I'm not actually a girl. Right here, right there in my mind at least, I became a 100% girl. And it was awesome.

The next two hours we talked and talked about many girly things. About makeup, clothes, gossiping about our friends. She told me that she really likes my outfit, usually I'm not looking for such compliments but now it was exactly what I needed to hear. She also complimented my hair and actually called me "super cute". This was great, because now I knew that it wasn't just my imagination. I was a super cute girl, and Alice confirmed it. I was really glad that I met her. It was kind of warm up before the convention. Alice left the train one stop before mine. For few minutes I had time to think over the situation I'm in. I was pleased with realisation, that I was now confident that I'm a girl. I wasn't stressed at all and I was ready for the adventure.