I'm a Payne // n.h.

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

"What?" I sat up in my seat, and opened my eyes a bit wider.

"Lyss, Niall hasn't touched a single girl since you've left." Liam spoke like I was an idiot.

"Zayn just told me that he had a girlfriend."

"Than Zayn lied to you." The words slipped so easily from his mouth and I didn't know who to believe. It was such an obvious choice to choose Liam, but Zayn kept it from anyone about my deepest darkest secret, but so did Liam, I expected him too. He was my damn brother.

"I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long day. Carter come on!" I picked him up and he reluctantly got on his pajamas and climbed into bed with me. We settled in and it was pitch dark exept for the moon dimly lighting the wall opposite us.

"Mama?" Carter's small voice rang through my ears and I turned to face him.

"Yes love?" I gave him a small smile and his face kept serious.

"How come I don't have a daddy?" A small tear dropped down his face and my heart broke. All my reality I had been holding back was now coming crashing down, and I realized that I couldn't hold this in anymore. Carter needs a father in his life, and God knows I can't raise him on my own. I never could. I need Niall in my life. He holds me down, keeps me sane, calms me when I need it, he's my everything. And the most important, he had the right to know that he was a dad to a three year old boy. God only knows if he'd ever forgive me, but I just needed to know that he knew. It was his descision if he wanted to be apart of his life, and if he doesn't want to be, as much as it would hurt me, he can continue on with his life, if Liam ever live after that.

"You do Carter." I wiped his cheek and gave him a weak smile. He played with his hands, just like Niall did before speaking again.

"Than why is he not a daddy?" He was almost yelling now, and my heart was literally breaking.

"Carter, I think you should go to sleep now." Truth is I didn't even know how to answer. How would I? Oh sorry love he doesn't even know you're his. It just would make him upset and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I needed to tell Niall, and soon. Even though I was still confused about the girlfriend thing, I wanted to forget that for the moment to let him know he has a son waiting for him.

I waited until I heard his light snores indicating he was asleep and I put on my boots and snuck into Liam's room.

"I need you to make sure Carter's okay. I have some business to take care of." I walked in on him watching a film and he nodded and I slipped my boots on and walked outside. { http://i.imgur.com/cPY0j.png } I got to Niall's flat in a mere 5 minutes and I raced up the lift. His door was waiting at the end of the hall and I knocked three times before waiting for him to answer. It wasn't too late only 22:00 but I still felt kind of intruding.

"Lyss?" He said with his groggy voice that I hadn't heard in three long years. It almost made me melt on the spot and I wanted to put my face on his to say the least. I shook the thought and continuted with what I needed to say.

"Niall, I need to talk to you. It's kind of urgent." He nodded and pulled me onto the couch that we'd kissed on earlier and he looked at me awaiting what I was about to change his life forever for.

"You can tell me anything." He reminded me and he grabbed my hand rubbing small circles on it, making this a little bit easier.

"You know how I was acting a little off before I left those summers ago?" I started slowly, hoping he would catch on before I actually came out with it, but knowing Niall, he probably wouldn't. "I found out something that day, or the night before I should say."