Mean Girls: The Musical Oneshots

Janis, that clown is not appropriate for small children

When Janis mentioned that she was going to dress up as a clown for Holly's birthday, Cady thought nothing of it. After all, Janis was known for her strange antics, so this would not be extremely unusual. When they went to Party City, Janis disappeared into an aisle and Cady was distracted by a fluffy lion costume. She didn't see what Janis bought, but assumed it was a normal clown costume. She could not have been more wrong.

On the day of the party, Janis was holed up in the bathroom, putting on her makeup. Cady was forced to entertain Holly's friends with games like pin the tail on the donkey. After ten minutes, she was already exhausted and her hips ached from the many pins that had been stuck there. The children were running around and practically jumping off the walls. 

Cady stumbled up the stairs and banged on the door. "Janis, hurry up. I can't take much more of this..." She gasped and staggered backwards. 

Gone was the Janis she knew and loved. In her place was the creepiest clown Cady had ever seen. Her face had been painted completely white, with red drips running down her cheeks. She was wearing an orange wig and a frilled costume. She grinned freakishly and whispered, in a raspy voice, "hiya Georgie." Cady was dumbstruck. She clung to the banister, suddenly remembering where she had seen that particular figure before. IT, by Stephen King. A  horror movie Janis had forced her to watch on Halloween. 

Before she could say anything, Janis darted away and down the stairs. Cady regained her composure and sprinted after. "Janis!" She screeched. "Don't you dare let those kids see you!" As she rounded the corner and into the yard, she saw that was is too late. The children were screaming and running away from a dancing Janis. She appeared to be doing a strange jig. 

"You'll float too!" She said waving her arms. A tiny guy was staring openmouthed, a plate of crackers in his hand. He collapsed to the ground in a dead faint. Another little boy grabbed the unconscious one's feet and dragged him away. Two terrified girls had climbed a tree and were bawling their heads off in its branches. One boy was sitting on the ground, absentmindedly flicking a lighter. Holly was the only one smiling, oblivious to the mess around her. 

It was chaos.

Cady grasped a maniacally laughing Janis by the arm and hauled her away. She then returned to the yard. After reviving the passed out boy, she confiscated the lighter, helped the girls down from the tree, wiped tears, and picked up crackers. She then sent all of the children home early. 

"Janis Heidi Sarksian." Cady said, arms folded menacingly. "Care to explain yourself?" Janis shook her head, not looking the slightest bit ashamed. "Any last words?" Janis looked Cady straight in the eye. "You'll. Float. Too." She then yeeted herself out of the window. Cady jumped out after her, and the spectacle afterward became to be known by the neighbors as 'The Day an Angry Redhead Chased a Scary Clown'. Janis marks it every year on their calendar. She's strange like that.