Mean Girls: The Musical Oneshots

Karen's Conspiracy Theories

Gretchen squatted in front of the mirror, carefully applying lipstick. As she reached the corner of her full lips, the door burst open. Startled, she dropped the tube on the floor. "Gretchen!" Karen squealed. "Hiiii!" Gretchen sighed. "Hi Karen." Karen sat on the bed and bounced gleefully. "Guesswhatguesswhat." She said. Gretchen just barely refrained from rolling her eyes. "No." Karen giggled. "That's not the answer, silly. Anyway, I have a..." she leaned in closer. "Conventional theory!" 

Gretchen blinked in confusion. "Um, Karen? Did you mean a conspiracy theory?" Karen nodded fiercely. "Yeah! That's what I said! Conventional. Anyway, drumroll please." She slapped the bed with her palms. "The Earth is a triangle!" She thrust her arms into the air, doing jazz hands. Gretchen was at a loss for words. "Karen, I don't-" Karen put a finger to her lips. "Shh. I know, it's a lot to take in. But it's true! Everyone says the Earth is either flat or round. It's obviously a triangle. You know I'm right."

Gretchen exhaled loudly. "Okay." She finally said. "The Earth is a triangle. Go tell your mom." Karen grinned. "I already did! Well, first I told Regina. She laughed at me. That wasn't very nice." For a moment, Karen's smile disappeared, but it was soon back to the same position. "She told me to go tell your mom, who told me to go tell you. So, here I am!" She did jazz hands a second time. Gretchen nodded. "You know what? I think you should tell Janis. She would love to hear your conspiracy theory." Karen gasped. "Ooh! You're right! Okay, bye!" She flounced out the door.

Gretchen stood in the middle of her room for a second, just staring into space. Then, she picked up her lipstick and went to the bathroom to clean it.