Mean Girls: The Musical Oneshots

Sincerely, Me

Cady walked out of the school in a daze, head still spinning with thoughts. They think I was friends with Janis! And I let them think that! Crap. I'm doomed. She groaned aloud. Okay, Cady, it's fine. Really fine. You'll be fine. Just... find a way to make emails! She sighed. People still wrote emails... right? Faking emails was most likely illegal, but she felt as though there were no other option. She would have to continue her charade until an opportunity presented  itself. "Fake emails." She muttered to herself. "Who do I know that is good with computers?" An idea sprung to the front of her brain, and she smiled in relief. Pulling out her phone, she dialed a number she had not called in years. The phone rang, and rang. "Yello?" Cady stifled a sigh. "Hi, Damian. I need your help with something." 

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Thirty minutes later, Cady was spinning in a library chair, tapping her fingers on her leg. She glanced around nervously, waiting for Damian to arrive. He burst in through the door, lugging a large computer. Cady's eyes widened, and she quickly scooted the chair away to make room for him. He plopped the computer on the table with a bang, and dramatically wiped invisible sweat off of his forehead. "I have arrived." Cady nodded. Damian pulled a chair over and steepled his fingers in an evil villain gesture. "So. What are we doing? Hacking into the Pentagon?" Cady shook her head. "Uh, no. I need you to-" she paused, trying to make her next words the gentlest they could be. "Ineedyoutowritefakeemails." She said in a rush. Damian blinked. "Say what now?" Cady rocked back and forth in her chair. "I need you to write fake emails." 

He laughed. "Fake emails? Ha! No way." Cady slumped. "Please, Damian. I need this." Again, he laughed. "No, Cady! That kind of stuff is dangerous. We could get caught!" A woman wearing all green and holding a copy of Moby Dick  shushed them. Damian rolled his eyes and lowered his voice. "I'm leaving." He turned to go, and Cady grabbed his arm. "Wait! What if I tell you why I need the emails?" He stopped. "Fine." He said eventually. "This better be good." 

In hushed tones, Cady explained her predicament. Damian whistled quietly. "You, Cady, are in deep doo-doo." He stood. "I would stay, but I have a curfew." Cady's brow furrowed. "It's 1:00 in the afternoon." He shrugged. "What can I say?" Cady visibly deflated. "Okay." She mumbled dejectedly. "Guess I'll have to find another computer genius." She laughed bitterly. "Great." Cady placed her head in her hands, reality crashing over her. She was all alone, with no one to turn to. She began to sob, quietly. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "I left my computer." Damian said. "Oh, God, I already regret this." Cady blinked. "Regret what?" Damian plunked back down in his chair. "Helping you, of course." Cady smiled brightly. "Thank you!" She exclaimed. Damian rubbed his hands together. "Let's do this."

He began to type. 

Dear Cady Heron, 

We've been way too out of touch. Things have been crazy, and it sucks that we don't talk that much. But I should tell you that I think of you each night. I rub my n-

Cady screeched and knocked his hand away from the keyboard. "Hey!" Damian exclaimed. "I didn't finish. How did you know what I was going to write?" Blushing furiously, she erased the partial sentence. "I could tell. Why would write that?" He shrugged. "I'm just trying to tell the truth." Cady groaned. "This needs to be perfect. These emails need to prove that we were actually friends. Just-I'll do it." 

I gotta tell you life without you has been hard-

Damian laughed. "Hard?

Has been bad-

"bad?" 

Has been rough.

"KiNkY!"

And I miss talking about life and... other stuff.

"Very specific." Damian said, shaking his head. "Shut up." Cady hissed.

I like my parents-

"Who says that?" Damian asked, chuckling.

I love my parents, but each day's another fight. If I stop smoking drugs, then everything might be  alright.

"Smoking drugs?" Damian said, smacking his forehead. 

If I stop smoking crack-

"Crack!" Cady squeaked.

If I stop smoking pot, then everything might be alright. I'll take your advice. I'll try to be more nice. I'll turn it around, wait and see. 'Cause all that it takes is a little RE-IN-VEN-TION! It's easy to change if you give it your a-tten-tion! All you gotta, do is just believe you can be who you wanna be. 

Sincerely,

Me

"Are we done yet?" Damian questioned, stretching his fingers. "Well, I can't just give them one email." Cady reasoned. "I have to prove that I was actually, y'know, a good friend." He grumbled. "Oh, my God."

Dear Janis Sarksian,

Yes, I also miss our talks. Stop doing drugs, just try to take deep breaths, and go on walks. I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees. 

"No." Damian said, reaching for the keyboard. Cady pulled it out of his reach.

You'll be obsessed with all my forest... expertise.

"Absolutely not."

Dude, I'm proud of you. Just keep pushing through. You'll turn it around, I can see. 'Cause all that it takes is a little RE-IN-VEN-TION! It's easy to change if you give it your a-tten-tion! All you gotta do, is just believe you can be who you wanna be. 

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Cady Heron,

Thanks for every note you send.

Dear Janis Sarksian, 

I'm just glad to be your friend. Our friendship goes beyond your average kind of bond. But not because we're g-

Damian stopped, glanced at the rainbow bracelet on Cady's wrist, and deleted the line. 

Well, anyway. You're getting better every day. 

I'm getting better every day.

Getting better every day! 

'Cause all that it takes is a little RE-IN-VEN-TION! It's easy to change if you give it your a-tten-tion! All you gotta do, is just believe you can be who you wanna be. 

Sincerely,

Miss you dearly,

Sincerely,

Me.

Damian leaned back in his chair, sighing. "Well, now I actually have to go. It was nice conspiring with you." He left. Cady stayed, looking at the printed emails. They looked so real, she was almost convinced she had once known Janis Sarksian. Gathering the papers in a bunch, she stood, and left.