teacher ♤ s.t [rewriting]

42 ♤ Beg

42 ♤ Beg

C O U R T N E Y ♤

The sun beaming down on the lawn seemed disrespectful almost when you glanced around the surroundings.

I gripped the insides of my pockets tightly with my hands, my eyes screwed shut as we slowly approached the family standing near the center of the event.

They appeared to be crying, and as each small group of mourners greeted them, a tearful hug ensued.

When we reached them, my parents and numerous siblings embraced the family, leaving me for last.

The mother offered me a sad smile before throwing her arms around me, hugging me tightly, her sad tears dampening my shoulder. I didn't mind. I had silent tears slowly streaming down my face.

After I exchanged hugs with the rest of the family, gently patting the youngest's head as he smiled at me unaware of the giant elephant in the room.

My mom nudged me gently, as if encouraging me to walk towards the open casket where Joshua was.

His skin was pale and sunken into his face, his hands folded over his chest covered by his favorite shirt, incidentally from when he won the state band competition with Tyler.

Fuck, Tyler, he's over there, crying uncontrollably.

But I couldn't go up to see Joshua.

Because that would make it real.

♤

I sat against Shayne's chest on his couch, his arm wrapped around my stomach, his left leg folded beside me in an upside-down 'V'. He had a small book in his right hand, which he was reading. The glasses he only wore when headaches started coming on were perched on the bridge of his nose, his blue eyes gazing at the page through the lenses.

There hadn't been many words exchanged between the two of us today. More just simple gestures. If I sighed, he would momentarily put down his book for a moment, glance at me, as if to see if I was ready to talk about the funeral. I would shake my head 'no', and he would squeeze my arm gently with the hand round my stomach before returning to his book.

A mug of hot chocolate was sitting on the coffee table only a foot or so away from the couch. If I did something such as glance at it, Shayne would reach out to grab it and hand it to me. It was cute, but I wasn't really in the mood to dwell on it.

I knew he was probably going to get irritated with me eventually, but I didn't want to talk yet. I just wanted to lay with him.

A gentle kiss on the top of my head startled me out of my thoughts. Shayne had placed the book down on the coffee table next to his glasses, and he was fully paying attention to me.

He sighed.

"Doll, I know you're hurting, this whole ordeal isn't pleasant, but please don't be so sad."

The few spoken words made me immediately tense.

"Josh is in a much better place now where he isn't hooked up to a vat of cords. I'm sure he wouldn't want you moping around like you have been for the past few weeks."

I sighed gratefully before leaning back into him, my muscles relaxing as he securingly wrapped his arms around me.

"I know, but I'm sad. I miss him," I mumbled.

Shayne hummed. "I bet he misses you too, baby, but I don't think he'd want you being so distraught over this."

"I know, I know." The mumble fell lightly from my lips. Shayne pressed his forehead to my shoulder, pulling his arms tightly around me with a deep intake of breath. His hair brushed softly against my cheek.

I buried my hand slowly into his scalp, my fingers digging into his roots carefully. He let out a contented hum, almost like a low groan.

"Goddammit, Court, I'm trying to comfort you but you just feel so good," he let out a gentle, breathy laugh, his shoulders shaking lightly. I still couldn't see his face as his forehead was resting on my shoulder, but I could imagine the exasperation mixed with humor crinkling the corners of his eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm perfect," I retorted jokingly in a small voice, scooting forward on the couch so I could turn around and look at him. He whined when I was no longer in his arms, and he lifted his head. His arms were left without me wrapped in them, his elbows resting on his upper thighs.

He grinned cheekily, before standing up slowly from the couch.

"We should go out for dinner tonight, maybe try and get your mind off of things, baby," he suggested, reaching his hands out for me to grasp. I reached out, and he pulled me to my feet.

"People might see us," I whined, pressing my face into his chest, his arms wrapping around me as I pressed into him.

"Baby, I promise we'll go where no one'll see us," he pleaded.

"We can get caught, Shayne."

His fingers combed through my hair gently.

"I'm not above begging, darling," he told me. I stifled a laugh.

"Fine, fine, we can go," I promised, rolling my eyes jokingly.

"Good," he cooed. "Maybe invite Damien too, just in case?"

"Why just in case?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"If we get caught- because I know you'll be paranoid the whole time- we can say you came with him. He is my friend as well as yours, so it's fine," Shayne mumbled, pressing his mouth against the top of my head. He pulled back, a small smirk on his face.

I nodded slowly, before standing up on my toes to press a kiss against his lips.

♤

guys, i know i'm updating less and less as of recent, but i've just been thinking a lot about what i want to do with everything, like this story, and my life, and just a whole bunch of other things

and i'm really confused

but i'm doing better than i was a few weeks ago

sorry for how short it was, but i already have a layout for next chapter

we're probably going to wrap this up kinda soon, maybe 15-20 chapters

like oh my gosh thank you all so much for over 10k reads, that's literally crazy to me, i love all of you so so much

it's funny how i went from an amateur written story to this thing that all of y'all are reading and enjoying (and is still amateur)

thank you :)))

- carolyne xoxo