Those Who Survive

The Deaths on His Hands

Hello, everyone! This is the third installment of my Apocalypse Series! That being said, please read "Don't Let Me Go" and "After The Fall" before reading this one, in that order to avoid confusion and spoilers. Thank you. If you are caught up, please enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think! 

Xion, out~

...

Dan sighs after Cry and Minx leave the little house. He turns, crossing his arms on his way over to a chair somewhat close to the couch where Dave and Signe sit with their things. He watches them with little interest. He meant the words he had said to the others before they left. He doesn't want to be a leader, at all. He has no people skills, and after Phil died, it's really hard for him to care about anyone else. He knows that's not a good thing, but he can't help it. It's like a switch was flipped the moment those damned diseased corpses ripped Phil from his hands. 

He's slowly trying to get over the death, but he's not the same, and he doubts he ever will be. Sure, he knows what he's supposed to be doing in regards to looking after the group, he just doesn't want to. His whole being since this started was put into keeping Phil safe, and when he couldn't even do that, he lost all semblance of what made him himself. He hates it, but he doesn't blame the world for doing this to him, he doesn't blame the others, either. 

He blames himself, because he could have done something more. Couldn't he? He also knows he shouldn't think this way, that if he ever voices these thoughts those words will be thrown at him. That it was no one's fault, but that's simply not true. Phil's death was someone's fault, and if it was none of theirs, that could only mean it was Phil's, and Dan refuses to believe that. So he takes the blame for himself and wallows in the despair it brings him.

This only serves to make his mindset worse and isolate him from the group, mentally. He's not entirely sure on what to do about this, and he doesn't know if he should even try. He's okay with who he's become, because it's no one's business but his own. And he's going to keep it that way. Signe sighs, wiping tears from her eyes. Her voice pulls Dan from his thoughts, "I'm not.. Feeling so good, so.. I'm going to lie down, okay..?"

"Sure," Dave smiles softly, "Get all the rest you need. I'll wake you up when Minx and Cry get back."

Signe smiles lightly at him, turning away to get something from her bag, blocking both their views from what her hands are doing. She slips a knife up her sleeve, and grabs a water bottle. She smiles softly at them again before walking off to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Dave sighs, pushing some hair out of his face, "I hope she'll be okay.."

"Me, too," Dan frowns, "If she keeps having those break downs, it could be more detriment to the rest of us."

Dave frowns, "Is that really all you care about? That her feelings could put us in danger?"

"Didn't it do just that, though?" Dan asks pointedly, "That's why Entoan died, isn't it?"

"He sacrificed himself for her," Dave replies.

"Because she wanted to die." Dan states, "His death is her fault just as much as it is his."

Dave glares at him, "Do me a favor and never say that to her. I'm trying to keep the rest of us alive."

"And I'm not?" Dan blinks, "I'm not saying this to be rude. I'm stating facts that could save our lives, Dave."

Dave just looks away, not happy about the conversation. He sighs and shakes his head, "We all have to look out for one another in our own ways, I guess."

"Glad someone finally understands," Dan sighs, looking away as well.

Dave glances back at him, but the conversation ends there. In the bedroom, Signe sits on the bed, holding the knife in her hands, silent tears falling down her face. She doesn't know what else to do, all she knows is that she doesn't want to have to keep doing this. She doesn't want to stay in this new world where no hope exists and she's plagued by the never-ending guilt over the death of her closest friend during the end of the world.

She can't keep hoping, not now. It's all too much, there's no way she can keep surviving this, only to be taken out one day by the disease that's claimed so many already. And then there's Sean, who she's beyond sure is dead by now. She has no idea how they'd even get back to each other if he's even still alive. It's the thought that he isn't that scares her the most, that drives her to act on the decision she's made. I'd never be able to keep going if there's no way to ever see him again, and if he's like all the others.. I just can't.

She closes her eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. Signe raises the knife to her throat, her breathing heavy, lips trembling. She takes in a breath, and then slits her throat. She gasps and gurgles as blood runs down from the wound, the knife clattering to the floor. Dave hears the sound from the living room, sitting up a bit more as he turns towards the bedroom with a confused expression, "Did you hear that?"

Dan looks over at him, having been lost in his own head again, "Hear what?"

"I'm.. Going to check on Signe," Dave replies.

Dan nods slowly, "Alright."

Dave gets up and walks over to the room. He knocks on the door, "Signe?"

Signe drops to the floor, blood pooling across the floor as her body goes completely limp. The door opens and Dave gasps, running over and kneeling down, "Signe!"

He pulls her into his arms, eyes wide and breathing heavy. Dan stands from the chair, looking towards the room with confusion and worry. Dave looks around, quickly grabbing the blanket off the bed and holding it to her throat, "H-hang on!"

Dan stares at Dave's back, unsure of what to do or how to act. He can see something happened to Signe, that much was obvious. He swallows, taking a step towards them, "Dave? I-is she alright?"

Signe's skin pales and her veins turn black beneath the sickly, dead complexion. Dave shakes his head, staring down at her, "No, no, you're going to be okay, I won't let you die yet!"

Dan starts towards the room at Dave's words, "Dave, get away from her!"

Dave looks back at Dan with tear-filled eyes. He starts to say something when Signe suddenly jolts to life and lets out a guttural cry, quickly digging her teeth into his throat. He falls back, unable to even scream as Signe pulls her bite free of his throat, chewing on the meat she just stole from him. Dan stops, eyes incredibly wide and his breath catches in his throat. Dave bleeds quickly, his dark eyes soon turn that pale film as the infection takes over him as well. 

His veins change as hers did as his body seizes. Signe lets out a shriek and eerily pulls herself off Dave's turning body, heading for Dan next. Dan screams, quickly closing the distance and slamming the bedroom door shut just as she slams her body into it. It's then that he hears the calls of his friends from the front door and he runs over, opening the door.

...

I was a coward, Dan glares at the ground as he follows Cry and Minx through town with no idea where they're leading him. I could have saved Dave if I had moved fast enough. It was obvious what was happening. I should have moved faster. Then he'd still be alive. He wraps his arms around himself, forcing himself to look at the only two friends he has left. His death is on my hands, too. But I won't end up like she did. I won't let my feelings put them in danger. I'd sooner just let the infection have me.