NOW YOU SEE ME.

Chapter 19.

A breath escapes me the moment I look at Connor's door.

Before the visitation happened, a lot was left hanging in the air and I'm not sure where things are now between us. For the first real time since we've known each other, I let him see just a snippet of my fears in broad daylight and in all honesty, I'm scared of the outcome of that.

I sigh before I head on to my room, I enter and just as I'm about to close the door, something suddenly prevents it from closing. Looking up, I see Connor right in front of me, no smirk or his playfulness on display, just a serious expression on. Now my senses ride on high alert about what's to come.

I was right to be scared, I mean looking at him now, he looks like a man on a mission.

" Don't say anything, just listen." He says, sounding determined.

I don't say anything.

"You care about me," he states.

Before I can cut in, he continues." I know that we haven't known each other for long, but that's not how it looks and feels to me, we are friends, honest friends at that." He let's go of the door and takes a step towards me.

I'm too frozen like a statue to react right about now, my heart beats fast at the close proximity.

" Look, no matter how much you don't want to hear this or try run away from me saying this, I can guarantee you this, I'll run after you, find you and tell you over and over again how much I care for you. Bea, I'm me, please don't compare me to them. I want you to know me as much as I want to get to know you, not just know you but see the whole of you, good or bad. "

He surprises me when he reaches out his hand and lightly touches my cheek, locking eyes with me.

What can I say, the touch alone is something else, the warmth and comfort from the touch is enough to feel the raw truth from both his words and heart.

What is this guy doing to me?

" Bea, all I ask is that you see me and not them." My breath hitches at that request.

He slowly removes his hand away from my cheek and instantly I miss the warmth it provides. It's amazing how a simple touch on the cheek can make one feel so many emotions, at the same time all worries disappear, just at the trance of intensity reigning in someone's eyes.

I watch as he takes a step back and soon enough, walks off in the other direction, probably to his room.

It takes a while before I close the door and bury myself in my covers, all thoughts staying on Connor.

He didn't even shout or dismiss my concerns and fears, he just took them in and offered me his honesty.

Like I said before, Connor is different and with what just happened right now, he once again proved that.

******

'All I ask is that you see me and not them?'

His words replay in my mind while I lie on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

A light knock pulls me out of my thoughts and before I can answer, Vicky enters.

Guess I do have to talk to her at some point.

"Morning." She greets.

Silence.

" How are you feeling today?" She asks, continuing as if nothing happened and she places a hand on my forehead.

" I met my mom's boyfriend yesterday." I speak up, not missing the relief that comes from both her breathing and eyes.

"Oh yeah, how is he?" She doesn't miss a beat.

I watch her open the window and I welcome the cool air.

"He's tall."

" Which your mom likes." She mentions while joining me on the bed.

"Yep."

"And....." She trails off.

" He wants to marry her." Her face lights up in surprise and I share a small smile.

" That's good right?"

"As long as she's happy," I shrug.

" What about you?"

" What about me?" I ask in confusion.

She doesn't continue but only stares at me.

A moment of silence stretches out before I continue speaking. " Connor and I talked yesterday."

" Uh huh." She makes a sound, edging me to carry on. " He told me that he cares about me."

She looks into my eyes for a bit, searching for God knows what." Do you feel any different?"

I rise from my bed so I'm sitting upright." No, yes, maybe." I struggle to find the right words.

She takes ahold of my hand and gives me a small smile." He's different isn't he?" This is the second time she's asked me this.

I close my eyes for a second, then look at her. "He makes me want to live again." Once the words are out, I take a breath out of amazement of how good it felt to let those words out, words from deep within and words I was afraid to release.

Vicky's smile brightens and she lightly squeezes my arms." That alone is enough to convince me of how you feel about him."

" Foresee the future again?" I tease.

" Damn right I do." She says, tanding up and I watch her walk over to the door.

She looks over her shoulder. " I will stuff you with a lot of greasy foods if we don't talk again." She lightly warns.

" I missed you too." I say smiling.

She nods at me and then walks out, calling out, " I expect you down at 5!"

I shake my head softly before I wear my shoes and get ready to go out.

Lightly knocking, I take a breath and wait.

I won't lie and say I'm not a little anxious and scared of me standing here. The door slowly opens and soon enough, Connor stands in front of me or more like in his doorway.

We both don't say anything but just stare at each other.

Looking into his eyes , I say one word." Okay."

At first he stares at me, then he takes a step forward. " Okay," I say it again, more loudly and more certain now.

He closes the gap and we are now inches from each other. This time, wanting to be incontrol, I stand on my tippy toes and slowly wrap my arms around his neck.

His body tenses for a moment, probably from the foreign contact but then when I place my chin on his shoulder, his arms come around my waist and I close my eyes at how an instant comfort and a feeling so foreign to me, overcomes me.

Safety. That's it.

He buries his face in my neck and I swear a tingle forms right at that spot. I don't know how long we have been standing like this but I don't care, because for the first time in a really long time, I feel good.

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Ncooh, their first real hug.