the story of you

By the Ocean

Like I said, I started ghosting my boyfriend. I know it sounds bad but talking to him about it would only make it sound so formal and... looking back I now realize what I did was inconsiderate and childish. Also I never told my friends I stopped talking to him because I knew they'd ask and honestly, I had no reason other than it was unfair both for him and you that I was still talking to him when I was in love with you. As for him well, he realized something was off and came to ask.. it hurt telling him nothing was wrong and I was just busy, even after knowing I wanted to leave him. He had a history for being clingy however so it seemed as so he thought the honeymoon phase was over and had to man up and de-cling, because he kept on trying to text me for a month following, but I kept swerving.

The week after MUN was something I would have never imagined to come. I'll never forget what you texted me on march 4th, Monday after MUN. For the first time ever, you shared some music you wanted me to listen to and I can go on and on about how softly you shared it and how much I love how not only you did, you also shared the lyrics that meant something to you. I'd never really been an affectionate texter neither have I ever texted you first, but you continued making an effort, so it meant a lot to me. You sent me 3 songs I still tear up while listening to to this day, and since then it became kind of our thing, sending each other music every once in a while with no introduction.

The weekend rolled around and we'd all made plans to go to this chalet area we usually go on Friday nights, that's where everyone hung out on Friday nights in my city, which meant my ex was gonna be there and surprise surprise, none of my friends knew I broke it off- or to be fair, in the long process of intending to break it off. Usually, you never accompany us, but this time you did and we were all happy about it. We got a table outside with the best view and the weather was perfect, so I was happy. One of my friends was walking behind my ex as he passed by my table and overheard his friend telling him to "be cool" and "don't worry about it, she doesn't wanna break up and still likes you", so my friend came over and asked if anything was off between us, which I denied and the conversation was shrugged off for it could've been so many possibilities of what he was saying in their opinion. You however, you noticed and asked, and I couldn't lie to you, so I spilled; "I don't want to be with him anymore, he hasn't been anything but good to me but I just don't see it working out anymore" I remember saying. I then had my favorite drink so all was well- well we kinda shared it so it was even more special. It was about midnight and we were ready to leave, so we got to the car. You told me to sit right by you which obviously made my heart jump, so I clearly abided. I was on bluetooth playing music, you grabbed my phone and said: "this next one is a surprise", played the song and smiled. It was one of the songs you sent me, once it played, and this is a moment I'll forever remember whether the intention was platonic or intimate, you kissed me. It was a peck on the cheek and I consider it my first semi kiss per say, because it still replays in my head from time to time, to quote the great Tyler Okonma: "10 minutes cant go past without you brushing my thoughts that's 1440 a day so i'll say 144 times I think about you or something like that". After the kiss I looked at you and you smiled, and I smiled back with glistening eyes and a pounding heart, then you took a snapchat of us singing to keep the memory and I rest my head on your shoulder the rest of the car ride back.