the story of you

Empty Conversations

Days went by and june was actually a pretty nice month, surprisingly good to me, that is, because I've set the lowest expectations of course. We took painting courses together, you and I and a couple of my friends. We also saw each other during huge get togethers, but we didn't really share any moments like we did during school, and I wasn't feeling deprived I was actually doing relatively okay. One beautiful day at the ends of June however it was like I was rewarded for the month we spent not sharing moments like we did before, by one beautiful day, courtesy of Tyler the creator. His new album had come out and we promised only to listen to it together, to this day she still reminds me that the song "earfquake" reminds her of me.

The days went by faster than I thought and soon we reached the last week of June, when my friends and I decided to volunteer and a summer camp to pass the time. Although I had to wake up at 10am every summer morning, I was okay for two reasons: I kind of liked the children I worked with oddly enough, and I got to see you daily, which made me feel motivated enough to get up. I thought everything was back to normal; we had a reason to see each other everyday and doing something together after our shifts. Something was off, though. Sure the circumstances were perfect but it seemed as so for the first time ever our energies were forced, as if I still gravitated towards her but her gravitation was in opposite waves; some days they gravitated towards me and others they didn't. That's when I began to feel insecure. After a while of moving two steps forward and one step back in breaking down my walls for you, I began to feel genuine fear. In a way, I too lost touch with what once excited us and was in a way a victim of stockholm syndrome and empty attachments. The month ended with the last day before I left for my trip with a tour of the university I was going to attend, you also applied and the reason I came with was because my mom was the dean, things were looking up for us I can't lie, at least I had another shot with you.