𝔚𝔬𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔡 - 𝔍𝔬 𝔍𝔦𝔫𝔥𝔬

You don't know the real me.

"Do you want a sugar cube? You probably don't want a hug or a kiss. I figured that out earlier that you don't like- AH!" You made sure to properly tackle him with a hug but you didn't mean to actually make him fall onto the ground with you "I've missed you so much! I've been in the dark at tulgey woods for so long you have no idea!!! I've never been happier to see you before. I don't ever want to go back there. EVER. It's miserable and creepy and all the animals are insanely weird and it's dark and-"

"Firstly, I don't know why you tackled me. You shouldn't be lying on top of me like this but... It's your un-birthday so I'll let you." You quickly rolled off of him once you realised what you were doing and looked down in embarrassment, obviously trying to avoid all eve contact with him "I- I'm terribly sorry I- I-"

"Shhh. It's okay. It's not scary here and even if it was you have me. I'll protect you from the dark and bring you into the light and even if I can't do that I'll sit by you in the dark. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. I- I can give you a sugar cube? I don't really want to touch you because you'll get upset so I can at least give you something. I know that time doesn't go by on a clock here but the sun is about to drop and the moon will bounce up as always."

"I don't want a sugar cube, I might end up with diabetes with the amount of sugar you've been giving me today."

"You won't die from beats from a sugar cube. Or are you dying the beats as in dye?"

"It's when you eat too much sugar. I don't want nor need one."

"Do you want a hug?"

"Nope."

"A kiss?"

"Ew! No. That's mental torture."

"...I could hold your hand?"

"No."

"Do you want cake? Biscuits? Cookies? Tea? Chocolate? I can get you anything, just ask."

"JJ, I don't want ANYTHING."

"But you're-"

"NO! Stop it! I'm absolutely sick of you doing this. You think you're my boyfriend when you aren't. You can't keep asking if I want you to kiss me, it's not happening. I know you don't even know what a boyfriend is because you've absolutely gone 100% mad but still. You shouldn't have even brought me here. I'm not slaying this 'Jabberwocky' on frabjous day, I'm going home. You're just an inconvenience to my life and I'm wasting my precious time hearing all of this kaloo kalay and the other sh*t that comes out your mouth. In fact, your butt must be jealous with all the sh*t that come out of your mouth. Your old parents probably missed you so much yet you never returned home? You staying in wonderland? They're probably dead now, they died worrying about you. You didn't think about that, did you? Pathetic." 

JJ's whole facial expression changed when you mentioned his parents. The rest of it he could sort of handle by the looks of it but the thing about his parents absolutely crushed him. You did notice him tearing up and his lip quivering but you ignored it and kept shouting at and insulting him "JJ, I want you to take me home, NOW. I bet you never thought about how this would affect me, did you? You've only been thinking everyone in this little creepy, messed up world and you didn't think how a normal, sane human would cope here. If I am the right Y/N I'm going to let you die on frabjous day, I'll be happy when you're gone and it'll finally be over. You know how you asked me what I wanted and I didn't want anything? I want something now. I want you to go fry me a steak, you psychotic cow!" You got up to walk away from him but stopped again once he started to speak back despite him still sobbing on the ground.

"Why would you say that? You don't know the me hidden behind my smile. You don't know what I went through as I child. You... You don't know what sort of people my parents were. All I wanted was to be happy again. I've had phases of depression on and off recently but when you arrived I felt like I could fly up past the moon with joy. When you came my whole world felt like it got put back together again. A little part of me did know that you were probably not as great as I thought and that I shouldn't have high expectations but I did anyway, I should've listed to Mallykmum. I started to realise that every time I touched you I felt sick in my stomach. When I held your hand I felt as if bread butterflies and rocking horse flies were living in my tummy. When I hugged you I felt like a wave of warmth cut right through me. Remember that time that I kissed you? My heart started beating rapidly and I don't know why. Even now my heart is beating more than it should, are you trying to kill me? I know you want this to be over and for me to be dead but I had no idea you were able to control my heart. Stop it, it hurts. You're like a whole treasure chest that looks good at first but once you open it you find that it isn't as amazing as it looked, that treasure chest makes one gravitate towards it like a magnet but curses them once it's opened. You're making me sick, Y/N. My temperature is rising, my heartbeat is going so much faster than it should, I feel like I may throw up and its all because of you... Yet I still want to be with you. You're right, I am 100% mad."

JJ got up and started to walk away "I want you to stay at the tea party. I'm going on a walk."

A few hours later

The moon was fully up and you sat on one of the trees nearest to the tea party, watching the others giggle and play without a care in the world about whats happening. They're just living life like you should be doing. A cold gust of wind with a dark smoke swooped past you and rested itself on your lap with a purring sound effect coming out of it "Cheshire, I know it's you. Now tell me, who actually is JJ? What was he like before I came?" The cat slowly faded into view until you could somewhat see him even in the dark. "I can't tell you much. I only know WHO he to everyone else but I don't know WHO he is on the inside."

"You know a bit of what I want to know. Lets start easy, what's his REAL name? You probably won't tell me b-"

"Jinho. Jinho Jo. He's fromSouth Korea and what I know about his parents is that they were abusive."

"Abusive? In what way?"

"I don't know. You'll have to ask him. I told you once and I'll tell you again. I don't know WHO he really is nowadays, I just know him as The Hatter." The cat started to disappear but not after saying one last thing as his dark mist got swooped away by the wind "You'll have to figure out who he is on your own."

"Cheshire! Don't leave me!... Cheshire? I'm in the dark again, aren't I?"

1 hour later

JJ never returned. You wait for him anyway. While you waited you could have been thinking of an apology. But... Falling asleep was clearly what your subconscious wanted to do.

Much much later. Once you awoke, still on the tree.

"Morning. I had an agreement with the moon. I told him to get the sun to jump up earlier. I know you don't like the dark. I also know you don't like me but I did tell you that I'd always bring you into the light. And... If it's okay with you I'd like to go on a walk with you. Is there anything you want before we go?"

A.) No, I don't want to go in the first place. I still want to go home.

B.) You still need to make me a steak like I told you to do when I called you a cow yesterday.

C.) To apologise to you.

D.) A proper hug.

E.) You to hold my hand because that's what boyfriends do.

F.) A kiss?