Lights! Camera - ; Tyrus

Scene 13

Cyrus

There are a lot of lines taken out of my script. Lots that I took out, lots that other editors took out because they weren't funny enough, or just plain ignorant. Lot's of little snippets that the audience never has to see.

My little mistakes.

And yeah, I get editing, those lines that were taken out by others were great choices. But the lines I have taken out...

I don't think so.

And the only reason I'm ever telling you this is because really, when you're all alone in your apartment after maybe the only person you've ever loved has publicly humiliated you and broken your heart yet another time, the only thing to do is look through the mistakes that you took out. To distract your mind.

I'm flicking through multiple sticky notes of dialog I wrote while I was suppose to be at a college party with Nick. Guess that was a waste. The notes and the party.

I'm not suppose to be on my phone or online whatsoever. But my fingers itch do text someone, see something mildly entertaining. Or what I really want to do which is Call TJ.

Call TJ.

I know what he's doing. I know he probably thinks that it's the best thing for us. (Us, like a couple word) Which I understand. I'm not an idiot (except when it comes to love I guess, then I'm stupid) But now. Now it feels like he's dug us into a hole that is impossibly hard to get out of.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

It seems that everything I want to do, or say or anything is always blocked by something I have done before.

Like when I wanted to put more representation in my script, that took weeks of negotiating and fighting to put even the small amount that is in there on the screen.

And the happy ending.

I don't deserve a happy ending, this isn't some kind of rom com, or weird fan fiction.

The only one who really deserves a happy ending is TJ Kippen.

But now we're stuck.

There's a knock on my door as I finally rest my head on the table. But it perks up the second I hear it. Because maybe it is TJ. Maybe...

I fast walk to the door (because I'm not that desperate to full on run) and unlock the latches.

"Cyrus? Wow I expected you to be asleep, or at least wearing that spray painted sweater you wear when sad." Nick steps into the apartment. He's wearing multiple layers due to the bad clothing. But the familiar sight of his star wars merch and messy hair is still something.

"You're not.... I'm not wearing. Nick?" Within my word vomit I seem to be so closed off yet so vulnerable. He sees this, the whole world does.

Nick reaches out his arms, and I fall into him. There isn't a heart of romance to it, just Nick. Nick who knows what I'm like, Nick who went after me the day of my panic attacks in class. My co writer. My friend.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Cy. But I'm pretty sure we're all screwed." Nick says.

"I know." Is all I reply.

"You don't seem that upset."

"Oh. I am. I just. It feels kind of stuck. You know? Like on one hand yes, of course I want to keep this going. On the other hand..." I stop mid sentence.

"On the other hand...?"

I sigh, "on the other hand, there's TJ."

"TJ. Like TJ Kippen?"

"Yeah." I sigh again.

"Like you want to be with him or..?"

"Yeah." That seems to be the word of the day. That and sighing.

"And why can't you be?" Nick seems to not catch on about this. I give him a minute before his eyes widen and he lets out the predictable, "ohhh."

"Yep, (now I'm trying hard not to say it) it's like I keep digging myself into these problems. Like with the relationship thing. With all of these lines that I really want to put in the movie, but I know I can't. I mean, most of these I took out myself due to fear, or them sounding terrible. And it's all my fault."

Nick chews his thumb, something he likes to do while thinking. "Well, I mean. You're not completely hopeless."

I lift my head up a fraction, "how do you mean?"

"Think of it this way: You were the one to make the rule against dating at work. You were the one who decided to cut out all of these lines which are actually really good. You were the one that put yourself in this situation in the first place. And forgive me if it sounds weird. But you're digging yourself into this hole, Cy."

A stiff smile comes across my face, "so you're saying I'm my own enemy. That sounds pretty poetic, Nick."

He nods. "But you are, Cyrus. You're bringing all of this bad stuff against yourself. And I think this is what made things weird between you and TJ in the first place."

"I created this whole drama." I finish for him. "Wow, if that isn't a writer, then I don't know what is." And I'm smiling, for real this time.

"So what do you say Cyrus? Finally self aware enough?"

And I give him quite possibly the best movie like reply I possibly could: "I'm the only one that can change this story. So lets give them one hell of a good one."

A/N not gonna lie guys. It's quite disappointing this was really short. But I had to make some decisions about where this is going, and change this acts whole plot, so yes, this is a filler. But I have some really wicked stuff coming up.

And I know you have all heard this excuse a million times, but I really am busy with school and what not. So no, I cannot consistently update. But to keep this mindset of write, write rest and write going I am happy to announce that my next story on this website will be:

A WALKER X JONAH AND REED X LESTER story!!!!! Which I am so happy and excited for!!