Everything I Want \\ Muke

Chapter Four

Luke's POV

I silently creep up the stairs towards the bathroom. I turn on the shower, wincing at the pain in my sides. I take my blades that I hid underneath the sink, I strip off my clothes looking in the mirror.

"Look at that stomach, all those fat rolls. Fat, fat, fat." The voice first says.

"Ugly. Look at those scars. You're too short. Look at those bags underneath your eyes."

(Luke's shorter than Michael in this story)

"No one will ever love you, you're worthless, fucking ugly."

TRIGGER WARNING

I slide down the shower wall, gripping the blade tightly. I press the blade down firmly on my wrists.

I watch as the crimson red liquid mixes with the water, swirling down the drain. I carve shapes, watching as the blood slowly peeks out. I drop the blade covering my ears, trying to block out the voice, it keeps on going, naming every flaw.

I get out, walking fast to my room, slipping on boxers, sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a beanie. I slide on my vans, hurrying out the door. I hear my name being called and soon feel a presence beside me.

"Luke, hey." Michael says, smiling.

"H-Hi." I say quietly, looking down.

"I haven't seen you much lately."

"I've been.. busy, I guess." I reply, in a whisper.

"It's either you're busy or you're not, dude."

"I've just been busy. I barely know you anyways." I snap.

"I was just asking." He puts his hands up in surrender. I roll my eyes walking faster.

"Look, I just wanna be friends. You can sit with me and my friends at lunch tomorrow if you'd like."

"I'm not exactly.. likeable. I don't know, Michael." I say, biting my lip.

"Please, Luke."

"I'll think about it." I see the pier come into view, "You can leave." I say quietly.

"I don't want to. I want to get to know you."

"I'm not interesting, trust me."

"But, Lukey." He whines, grabbing ahold of my wrist, pulling me towards the pier.

"Ow.." I mutter, hoping he didn't hear.

He turns around, "Are you okay, Luke?" He says, the look of worry taking over his features.

"Yes, I just uh, I tripped over a rock." I look away, finding a sudden interest I my shoes.

"Luke," He crossed his arms over his chest, "Look at me and say that."

I look up at him, "I tripped over a rock." I said shakily.

I wrap my arms around myself, feeling self conscious. I feel small underneath his gaze, almost like a bug that he could squash in a split second.

It's quiet for a few minutes, then he breaks the awkward silence.

"Okay. Whatever you say." He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers together. I keep quiet, listening to the crunching of leaves beneath our feet.

Once we reach the end of the pier I plop down on the edge, Michael sitting beside me.

"What did you mean earlier when you said, 'You aren't exactly likeable.'?" Michael questions, turning to look at me.

"It's just, things have changed over the years, Michael. It effected all of the relationships I had." I say quietly, playing with a loose thread on my T-shirt. He moves closer to me, pulling me in a side hug.

"Enough about me, tell me about you." I say, as soon as he opens his mouth to ask a question.

"Luke," He starts, but I cut him off.

"Please just drop it."

"Okay, fine." He sighs.

"Tell me about you."

"Well, I was born in Perth, lived there for about 17 years, then moved to Sydney. My dad he's always working now, he got promoted. He used to only work half a day, I barely see him. But anyways, that's about it." He tells me, "Do you wanna play twenty questions?"

"I guess."