Let Me Go (Sequel to Rescue Me)

Chapter VI

            I feel heavy walking in the halls. Everyone is in class so I have nothing to fear, right? I feel nervous about everything. The stress of the past few months seem to creep on me. This is possibly the worst moment. I must play it cool so Umbridge believes our scenario. She’s probably teaching right now. Should I interrupt or wait for her class to be over?

            “Miss Lavinia?”

            I spin on my heels and face professor McGonagall. I can’t help but smile but my happiness to see a familiar face doesn’t seem to be reciprocal. She even steps back when I make a step forward. The harsh reality slaps me right in the face. She doesn’t want me near her. Knowing how protective she is over her students, she probably doesn’t want me near anyone in the school. The corners of my mouth slide down as my heart squeezes in my chest. I have a feeling that the pain I feel right now is real. She shakes her head slightly and walks away quickly. The rhythmic beat of her heels make my stomach fall deeper. I feel sick of myself. She wasn’t here to see everything. What do the people that know what I can do -like Harry- think about me? I don’t want to ask myself this question. I need to leave and simply do what I have to do. I don’t walk a meter before someone stops me again.

            “Analeigh?”

            What again this time? Professor Flitwick telling me I can’t get close to his Ravenclaw students? Professor Sprout telling me to stay away from the Hufflepuffs? I don’t want to turn around and feel what I felt again. I end up waiting like the idiot I am. The steps get quicker and louder as the person gets close to me. I clench my jaw and wait. I became so weak I’m scared of everything. I feel a hand on my right shoulder. I look at it and see slender fingers When I go up the sleeves and look into Fred’s eyes, my fear transforms into regret. I shouldn’t have dwelled here. I discovered few minutes after the kiss I had with Fred that it was just Voldemort messing with my mind. He knew from the beginning that Fred and George were important to me. Pain started to hit me in the chest when we walked out of the closet and, when I came back to my senses, Fred walked by without stopping me. The entire moment that gave me hope of having at least one friend disappeared.

            “Hi.” I say with a shaking voice.

            I’m embarrassed of knowing that our kiss is scrolling through my mind and that Voldemort can see it. Maybe he’s the one making it play in replay just to remind me that I have lost his love when mine shines bright.

            As expected, he doesn’t smile or reply. He must’ve stopped me for a reason.

            “What is it?” I finally ask, getting tired of how judgemental his eyes are.

            He doesn’t answer.

            “You can’t just stop me and give me that look. You had the entire summer to share your hatred. I can’t take this anymore so you lost your choice.” I add.

            When I’m about to walk away, his fingers dig in my skin. He presses right on a nerve so I don’t resist and step back where I felt comfortable before he arrived.

            “I wanted to tell you this during the summer but your condition wasn’t letting anybody’s words to get to your brain so I’ll tell you now.” He says.

            I close my eyes and breathe deeply. He won’t tell me he loves me. I won’t let Voldemort slide through my mind this time. I’m stuck in reality and I want to stay here rather than drifting to the optimistic light or the destroying darkness. He roughly turns me around so I can face him. He won’t kiss you Analeigh. You made a hell out of the lives of the people he cares the most about, I think to myself.

            “What you did this summer scared everyone, especially Ginny.” He doesn’t have to say more to make me feel guilty but he still continues. “Many things were said and many things were done…”

            “I swear Fred, I don’t remember anything that happened this summer. You need to believe me! I didn’t mean to say or do whatever I did.” I interrupt.

            “I know. We all know. Dumbledore passed by and told us what was going on. Snape said it has been going on since last year. Why didn’t you tell us before?” He asks.

            “I didn’t know. I felt pain few times and you saw me with those eyes. It’s not my fault, I swear. I was so scared of myself until I realized it wasn’t me but… someone else.” I say in fear of wakening you-know-who.

            He presses his lips in a tight line and nods.

            “I wanted to let you know that…”

            My eyes get wider. He won’t tell me he loves me. This scenario would only be the creation of my imagination. I can’t help but wipe my sweaty hands on my pants and take a deep breath to calm my heart a little.

            “I’m sorry. I really am. I wish I could have done something but we arrived too late.” He says.

            For a second, I’m completely confused. What does he mean? Sorry about what? Shouldn’t I be the one to apologize? He keeps asking me for forgiveness but I shush him quickly.

            “Wait Fred. Sorry about what?” I ask.

            His shoulder raise and I hear him swallow hard.

            “Snape told us you could loose few parts of your memory after the potion he gave you.”

            “What? What potion? What did he do to me?”

            I thought he was supposed to be my guider? I don’t understand what is happening and why it’s happening to me.

            “Fred, what did you want to tell me? You’re sorry about what?” My voice is louder which creates an echo in the hallway.

            “About your father Analeigh.” He says.

            I don’t wait for him to tell me he is sorry again. I turn around quickly and walk away. He calls out for me but I don’t stop. I forgot. I completely forgot about my father. I can only recall Fred telling me about it and then Harry entered into the room I was in, two months later, with a plate full of food. Snape drugged me on medication to forget my worries. This can’t be happening right now. I’m under Voldemort’s power and I’m going to wake up facing McGonagall. I fall on my knees when I can’t run anymore. I don’t recall starting to run but I know I’m out of breath. I need to do something, anything! If all of this is happening it’s because of Voldemort. He needs to get out of my head! He did say that I would tame the power if I listen to him. If I do listen to him, maybe the voices and the pain and the sorrow will leave me alone. Maybe the answer is to join the power instead of fighting against it. Maybe the answer is to do what Voldemort says. I feel strength push me back on my feet. Adrenaline rushes through my body. I walk into the nearest bathroom and fear what I have feared for a while. When I look at the mirror, I know I’m right to feel scared. My red eyes came back.