Felicity

XV

Derek's POV

   I could tell that Reid wasn't comfortable with my sudden outburst. He wasn't making any eye contact with me and he was shaking a bit. It wasn't hard for Reid to crack under pressure and I could also tell that he was downright nervous. I mean, I usually was never this straightforward. Granted, I was never one to speak in riddles, but even for me, it was forceful. For a moment I considered backing down and giving him a second but when he looked at me as if he was helpless, I knew I couldn't. 

   "Derek, I'm..." he paused. 

   "What is it?" I asked, not wanting to wait another second for what he had to say. 

   "I think that...I like you," he mumbled. 

   To be honest, I did not expect this. It then made complete sense of why he was so awkward around me. This wasn't the first time that the idea crossed my mind, either. There had to be a reason why he wasn't acting normal and that was one of the ideas that I thought about, but I almost instantly disregarded it. While I was processing what he said, I barely noticed that Reid was backing away from me, not wanting to wait for my response. But, before he could leave, and once I snapped back to reality, I grabbed his hand. 

   "Are you not going to even wait for my response?" I asked. 

   He stopped moving and looked at me. I thought for another minute. This kid was serious. There was no way that he wasn't. It was no wonder this case made him feel awkward. I didn't know what to say at the moment. Come to think of it, no one had ever told me their feelings like this since high school. I just wanted to know why he felt so uncomfortable about it. 

   "What if I don't want to hear it?" He replied. 

   He was looking up at me as if he was scared of me. I tried to find a word to describe what I was thinking at that moment. If I was completely honest, something in my chest sunk when Reid looked at me. 

   "You're going to know either way. But first, you are going to tell me exactly why you didn't tell me sooner," I said. 

   Reid put his hand on the wall as if he couldn't stand. My hand was still on his wrist, I was unconsciously squeezing it, possibly a little too hard. But at that moment, I didn't care. I honestly wasn't sure why I was so forceful but I wanted answers. Why didn't he tell me sooner? Was he afraid of my reaction? How long did he know about his feelings? But more importantly, what was I going to say?

   "I thought I could make it to the end of this case... I didn't want this to interfere with it. It would have happened at a time in which I could have just left. The case would be over so I could go home and try not to worry about it." He looked to his feet. "And now, I have to think about it while we are still on the case."

   I didn't know what I was doing for a good minute when I pulled my phone out, but I did. I pulled it out and dialed Hotch's number. 

   "Hotch," I said when he picked up. "I am going to have to come in late. Something happened and I need to take Reid back to the hotel. I'm going to come back by myself."

   "What happened?" He asked. 

   I looked at Reid who seemed very confused. 

   "He just needs time. I don't think he can work like this," I replied. 

   Reid yanked his hand away from my grip and folded his arms. He didn't like the fact that I just sold him out for being incapable of working. 

   "You are right. I have noticed his lack of engagement in the past couple of cases. Well, don't worry about rushing. He needs someone, you, to be with him. I think it helps."

   "Right, thanks. Bye."

   I hung up and didn't say anything for a minute. What did Hotch say? Reid needed me? Even he knew? While I pieced everything together in my head, it made a bit more sense. But how had I not figured it out?

   "You're terrible, you know that right?" He said. "You know I can still work. I am not sick."

   "The hell you are not working anymore on this case. I can't have you zoning out on this case anymore. Obviously, you are sensitive to this case so I am not gonna let you stay. End of conversation," I replied, dead serious. 

   I ended up taking him to the hotel with no debate. I could tell that he was still nervous about our conversation and I felt a little bit bad about putting him on the spot. While I was driving, I broke the silence by asking, 

   "If I didn't confront you, when did you plan to say something? I mean, I know you said 'after the case' but seriously, when?"

   He hesitated before replying with, 

   "I'm not sure. I don't even know if I was going to do it at all. I was still debating on what and when I was going to say to you when you dubbed me 'incapable of working.'"

   I cracked a smile. I knew that he was pissed about not being able to work when he knew he could. Honestly, if he did stay on the case he would most likely do really well since he understood what was going on the best. But, he was taking the case way too personally and everything with Maeve was definitely not making anything easier for him. I couldn't let Reid take a toll on his mental and emotional health just because he wanted to work on this case. 

   "Reid," I called. 

   He looked at me and replied,

   "Yeah?"

   "I want you to know that I want what's best for you. You need to rest. I'm not going to let you be tired, upset, or whatever at work or anywhere. You are too important to me for me to let that happen. Okay?"

   "Yeah, thanks." He smiled a little bit and my heart stopped. 

   Had I seriously fallen for him?