Felicity

XVII

Reid's POV

   I was dead silent. How was I supposed to reply to Derek when he told me, using my first name, that he liked me. I was completely shocked. I mean, I was shocked when I kissed him not even two minutes ago, but this was surprising.

   "You used my first name..." Was the only thing that managed to come out of my mouth.

   "Yeah, I did. Just to show you how much I mean it," He replied.

   I looked up at him, still taking in the situation.

   "I hope you weren't mad at me, for not saying something sooner. I didn't know how to-"

   "I know, I know. It's okay Pretty Boy. I wasn't mad at all. Come here," He interrupted.

   He extended his arms and embraced me into a hug. I hesitantly put my arms around him as well. I clung tight to him as if he was going to leave. A lot was going on and it was hard to process at the moment. Did this mean that I was leaving Maeve behind? Was I saying that I was done with her? I couldn't do that to her.

   "Reid, are you okay? You're squeezing me."

   I didn't answer but I noticed that I was, in fact, tightly clinging to Derek's waist. My breath was also noticeably shakier. But, I couldn't look up at him. I was frozen in place, my mind racing with the thought that I was abandoning Maeve. Derek then grabbed me by my shoulders and peeled me off of him.

   "Reid, Reid!" He called.

   He looked at me wide-eyed, not knowing what to do. I couldn't look straight at him.

   "Am I betraying her?" I asked, a little dazed.

   "You aren't betraying her," He replied, instantly knowing who I was referring to. "She'd want you to be happy, right?"

   He had put his hand on my head, which made me feel only a little bit better. I felt confused as if I had hit my head on something. As soon as I had thought about Maeve, my head went crazy and I couldn't think. It was only a few minutes before my head traveled back to when she died. I was there, standing in front of her, my gun pointing at Diane. In the distance, I could hear Derek's voice, but all that I could see was Maeve's fearful expression.

   "Please don't leave," I said, it was only a second until I was crying.

   The bullet was shot and I fell. I couldn't move. The scene had played over and over again in my head and in my dreams so many times that I couldn't take it. Even though my dreams had ceased to persist in the past couple of weeks, the image was still burned in my head. I was blacked out and all I could see was blood. Everything was red.

   "Reid! Wake up goddamn it! You're okay!" I could hear Derek shouting.

   I could feel his hands on me as I was out. What was happening? Why had I blacked out? All I thought about was Maeve, then everything just went blurry. When I finally woke up, Derek was right by my side, looking worried as hell. I was on the bed and I was sweating like crazy.

   "My God, Reid. You scared the hell out of me," He said with his hand still on my arm.

   "What happened?"

   "I should ask you the same thing. You started to hallucinate and couldn't stop mumbling about 'betraying her.' You screamed Maeve's name multiple times, as well," He replied.

   He sat on the bed next to me and I sighed.

   "I'm sorry," I said.

   He put his hand over mine and looked me in the eyes.

   "It's okay. No one can expect you to recover so soon."

   I nodded my head, Derek kept his eyes on me.

   "Forget the case," He suddenly said.

   "What?"

   "Forget the case. I want to stay with you right now."

   "Are you okay? That is definitely not something that the Derek I know would say," I said, a little confused at his request.

   "Obviously you aren't okay and I want you to be okay. That's not going to happen if you try to focus on a case all by yourself. Just stay here with me and forget the case."

   His eyes were glued to me and I had no idea how to reply.

   "Okay?" I finally said, not sure about his idea.

   I sat up in the bed and I looked back at him.

   "Have you had any dreams lately?" He asked.

   "Not of Maeve, no. I don't know why I blacked out like that. I just thought about her for a second, wondering if that I was doing the right thing, and then I thought back to her death. I couldn't get it out of my head."

   A soft smile appeared on his lips and he sat close to me.

   "If you want to know what I think, I think she is looking down at you right now and she is proud of you. You are the smartest person I have ever met and I bet that's exactly what she thinks as well."

   I felt comforted by his words almost instantly. Deep down, I knew that he was right.

   "Yeah, I am the smartest person you've ever met, aren't I?" I joked.

   "Can you name anyone who is smarter?" He replied, with a smirk on his face.

   "Actually, I could name quite a few people that are smarter than me. I mean, unless we are talking about people who are alive."

   He laughed and showed me one of his superstar smiles. I wondered if this was how it would have been if Maeve was still around. If it was, I was glad to have fallen for Derek, so that I could experience it. He was the only other person who made me feel the exact same way that she did. For a while, I thought that I would never find someone again. That was why I was so unsure when I figured out that I did like him. I was absolutely sure that I wasn't going to ever find someone. Someone like Maeve.

   "I'm sorry that you kept that to yourself for so long," He said after a minute, looking me dead in the eye.

   "Well, you know now. That's all that matters, right?"

   "Ha, as long as you don't try to keep stuff from me in the future."

   "Sorry," I replied.

   I had sat up in the bed and finally, my mind wandered to how I had gotten there.

   "Derek did you-?" I cut myself off as I looked at him, dumbfounded.

   "What?"

   "You know, it's not really wise to touch someone who is hallucinating. I could've hit you."

   "You tried to, but I wouldn't let you," He replied, casually.

   I smiled at him, finding it stupid that he would move me to the bed when I could have very easily hit him. He took his hand off of mine and rubbed my eyes, which had tear stains all over them. When he pulled his hand off of my face, I attempted to get up before he stopped me.

   "You are not leaving unless I know exactly where you are going. If something happens again and I'm not there, I'll kill you," He said.

   I furrowed my brows and replied, "That's contradictory."

   "Exactly."

   He stared at me for a few moments before leaning in again and kissing me. He put his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him, which made me feel a bit awkward. But, soon the feeling of desire took over me and I kissed him right back.

Hello, people! Thanks for reading chapter 17 of Felicity, I really appreciate all of the support. I really hope that you liked this chapter, I worked pretty hard on it, trying to make sure that the romance was right. If you have questions or comments, you can dm me or leave a comment. Thanks for everything, love you guys! ~<3