This Means War

Breeze

Poor Sebastian. Poor, trusting, naive Sebastian. He left his trailer unlocked. He is in the middle of a prank war, and he left his trailer unlocked! Not the front door or anything. He was at least that smart. No, it was a window that I found unlocked. The back "emergency exit" window to be exact. No doubt an oversight from the fabreze grenade I had chucked in the bedroom while he was napping between takes a few days ago.

All it took was a little climbing, shimmying and contorting for me to have access to what he had thought was his secure trailer. I had several ideas of what I could do. Steal his left shoe? Take his car keys? Unscrew the shower head so it fell off when he turned it on? All good ideas, but difficult to properly document. After all, a prank is only worth it if the victims misfortune could be shared with the world.

A truly awful idea finally struck me. With my limited time, I struck, quietly sneaking back out the emergency window once my evil deed was done.

"Do I want to know?" Mackie's voice from behind me made me jump.

"It's better if you don't." I admitted, glancing back at the window I had escaped from.

"You're not going to kill him, are you? Did you put a rabid raccoon in there or something?"

"No, but I like the way you think."

"Do not drag me into this!"

"I'm not!" I assured. "As long as you don't tell anyone you saw me, that is."

"I didn't see shit." Anthony snorted, shaking his head and walking past me.

It wasn't until much later that day that my plan came to fruition. I invited Anthony and Sebastian out for dinner. Anthony's sharp eyes caught onto my trick right away. I was sure his look of unbridled glee would give everything away, but he reeled it in just in time.

Sebastian, poor guy, didn't suspect that anything was wrong the entire meal. I even managed to sneak a quick video of my handiwork before he sat down. I was nice enough to tag him in the video. Had to give credit where credit was due. I held off on uploading until we were about to leave.

I excused myself to the restroom before we left, knowing full well he would distract himself with his phone. I waited until it uploaded to come out. He got the notification right when we got to the car. I know he did from the look on his face.

"Are you serious?!" Sebastian snapped, his hand flying to the back of his thigh to discover the rather large hole I had cut out of the back of his pants.

"How did you not notice that?!" I laughed, ducking into the car to avoid his angry glare, Anthony climbing into the back to hide his own laughter. I hit the button to lock the door right as Sebastian reached for the handle.

"Ellie, really?"

I saw my golden opportunity and took my phone out, live recording him locked out of the car.

"Just open the door!" I yelled at him.

"You locked it!" I unlocked and relocked the door again, Sebastian yanking on the handle again. "Really? Ellie unlock the door!" I hit the lock button again, Sebastian giving the handle another vain yank. "Ellie, please!" He groaned, pressing his forehead to the window. "My ass is out, let me in!"

"How about I bring you a ladder instead."

"If you let me in I'll get everything else off the top shelves for you." Sebastian offered hopefully.

"And you won't put anything back up there?" I asked pointedly.

"I promise I won't." Sebastian agreed. I thought my options over for a second before I hit the button to unlock the car, Sebastian almost diving in and jerking the door closed.

I hit the button to stop recording, setting my phone down in the cup holder and starting my car. "Want to give up?"

"Did you really have to caption that 'nice ass'?" Sebastian groaned. Even in the darkness of the car I could see the flush to his face.

"I did." I laughed, taking joy in his embarrassment. "It wasn't like it was your bare ass or anything. That can easily be found in that movie you did."

"That was a movie!"

"That was disturbing."

"It was meant to be absurd."

"The socks. Why the socks?"

"That's your main problem with that?" Anthony chimed in from the back. "He's flying through the air naked, and you're worried about the socks?"

"He had a tattoo of his junk as an Olympic medal and you're upset that he was naked and flying through the air?" I retorted.

"That was pretty messed up." Anthony nodded.

"It didn't come off for days." Sebastian lamented, shaking his head. "I was 'that guy' for like a week."

"If you don't surrender soon you might end up being 'that guy' again."

"How do you plan on pulling that off?"

"You sleep like you're dead, it wouldn't be that hard." I snorted.

"I'm pretty sure that would wake me up."

"Oh so the key to waking you up lies in your junk?"

"You are welcome to try."

"I'll make sure to tell the PA's that."