Broken (Gilbert Blythe)

chapter 15

Nova made it home with dried tears on her face because she couldn't cry anymore. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy. She went upstairs trying her best for no one to see her in her state. But low and behold, Prissy seen her. "Nova?" She looked out of her room, with her face scrunched up in confusion. Nova stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around to face her sister. Prissy's eyes widened slightly. "Are you okay?" Prissy walked to Nova, giving her a hug. Nova felt the tears return to her eyes and she started sobbing. "I'm not." The young blonde shook her head, "I'm not okay. The boy I love is leaving, I feel so selfish for not wanting him to go." Nova sobbed, leaning into her sister's hug. Prissy took Nova into her room, they both sat on her bed. Nova finally calmed down, so Prissy felt the need to ask. "Can you tell me what happened?" Nova was looking down, she couldn't bear to look her sister in the eye. "Gilbert's leaving." She said with no emotion in her small voice. Prissy gave Nova a sad look. "Nova, I'm so sorry." She gives her a side hug. "Did you tell him how you felt?"

Nova felt her heart break at the question, she hesitated but she shook her head. "I didn't. I didn't know what to say. I told him goodbye, I couldn't say anything else without crying and I didn't want to cry in front of him." Nova looks at her older sister. "Did I make a mistake? Should I have told him I loved him?" Prissy honestly had no clue of how to answer Nova's question, which caused her to stare at her younger sister with her mouth open, but no words were coming out of it. 

Nova shook her head, wiping her tears off of her tear stained face. "I'm sorry." She starts to get up, but Prissy grabs her arm. "Nova." Prissy gave her little sister a sympathetic look. "I know it may seem like there is no end to this, but I promise, there is and I'll be right by your side every step of the way." Nova just stood and looked at her, she nodded and headed into the hallway and made her way to her room. When Nova walked in, Jane looked up, seeing Nova with puffy, red eyes and a flushed face. Jane didn't dare ask what was going on, she didn't want to make her more upset. Nova sat down on her bed and looked to her nightstand, where her journal normally is. She scrunched her eyebrows, looking under her pillow and under her bed, but to no avail, there was no journal in sight. Nova looked to her twin, "Have you seen my journal, by chance?" Jane looked over and shook her head to the blonde. Nova thought back to her day, then she remembered. She left it at Gilbert's house. The blonde shut her eyes in frustration, thinking to herself.

'Why are you so stupid, Nova? You just mess up on everything, don't you?'

Nova let out a small sigh, getting up once again from her bed, grabbing her nightgown and ribbons for her hair. She went to the bathroom and looked at the mirror on the wall. Nova thought to herself, 'You look like a train wreck... all because of a stupid boy. A stupid boy that's going to leave you and the whole town behind.'

She shook her head and got dressed for bed, putting the ribbons in. Finally laying down, her final thoughts before she fell into slumber were about the hazel eyed boy.

Gilbert, on the other hand, couldn't sleep. His thoughts were going every which way. He couldn't stop thinking about how he left things off with Nova and the way she left, he hated the fact that he made Nova cry and didn't even try to comfort her. He needed advice on how to deal with these things, his dad would have helped with that if he was here. Letting out a sigh, Gilbert got up from his bed, grabbing the fire lamp and made his way downstairs for a cup of water. He got into the kitchen to see a book laying on the table. Gilbert furrowed his eyebrows, he knew he didn't leave a book on the kitchen table, or so he thought. He walked closer and saw it was the journal he gave the blonde he had a crush on. Some sadness made its way into his heart, wishing he could go back in time to make sure she knew that he cared for her deeply and wanted her to know his feelings, even if his feelings aren't reciprocated. Gilbert sat at the table, contemplating on whether he should read it or not.

He let out a sigh and grabbed the book and opened it. The first thing he saw was his letter to Nova, he smiled at the memory of writing it to her, for some reason, he was so nervous giving her this simple journal. He flipped through the pages, looking at her unique writing. It was beautiful, in his opinion. He thought to himself, she has such a way with words that nobody else does.

He saw a poem that intrigued him a little more than the others. She was talking about a boy, a boy that she had fallen in love with, but she felt as if it were foolish of her to have done such a thing.

Have you ever fallen for someone and shouldn't have? Someone that makes your heart flutter at the sound of their voice or the way they look at you? Have you ever just watched yourself fall for someone deeper and deeper each day and can never see the end to it?

I have. I probably should just leave these feelings alone, but I can't bear the thought of doing so. My mind is telling me I'm so foolish for falling for this boy that will never love me back. But my heart is still holding out hope that he will.

It's so terrifying that I love you the way I do. I get scared that the love I feel for you is unrequited. Every day that goes by I think of you and how amazing you are. I close my eyes and think of your grey eyes, mixed with a little bit of hazel and that smile of yours.

That was the last poem written. Gilbert sat the book down and sat back in his chair. He wondered, 'Was this about him? Maybe he hopes that it is about him and not someone else. She deserves so much from life.' Gilbert closed his eyes and sighed once again. He's leaving, either way, even if it was about him, she would never wait for him. He doesn't know how long he'll be away, so why would she?

authors note

hey guys! sorry for the late update, I have been having trouble writing but I think I'm over the writers block now! I missed writing honestly! thank you guys for reading, I hope you guys have enjoyed the book so far! feel free to leave some feedback in the comments and make sure to leave a vote!

~ mack :b