If I only could

Chapter 25

"She cut off her connection with us without even telling us the reason why." Glen continued and he's still there sitting while listening to their conversations.

"So you're saying that you thought she flew to Australia just like what she told you but she never flew there?" Mark asked to confirm if he heard it right. Glen nod

"Something was wrong, we tried everything to reach her but we couldn't reach her anymore, and we don't even know how we can connect with her again, it was hard to find a person who doesn't want to be found." Glen said and that's true.

He once attempted to find her for their daughter's sake, the child is growing and that child needs her mother but after several times of trying to find her using all the connections he has, he failed. No one knows that he tried to look for her including these Lads with him.

And that's how he live his everyday life trying not to remember her and forgetting about her, he's even trying everything he could to forget that she's the mother of his own kid but that would never be easy.

"She had a hard time before she left." Glen suddenly said and sighed which made him turn around to look at him.

"What do you mean?" It was Mark who asked that question that he wanted to ask to Glen.

And from that moment Glen didn't say anything but sigh, which made him curious about it. Glen is always a straightforward person not unless he really want to keep it a secret from them.

At that moment of silent, his eyes crossed Glen's. That worried look in Glen's eyes that he barely see makes him feel nervous. He knows it's not right, something is not right.

His heart is about to explode as he sees that worried eyes of Glen, he doesn't really know what happened, but he hopes nothing bad happen to her when she left.

Even if he hated her that much, left her and blame her for having a broken family, he never wants anything bad thing to happen to her. He did love her after all during the days they were first in love with each other.

"The thing is..." Glen started but stop and sighed again. He blink his eyes multiple times as he prepare himself on what Glen is about to say. "I wish I never mention that." Glen continued and he deeply close his eyes as he sigh again.

"But I know I have to say it." It's Glen again and he look at him again without saying anything and just listening to him. "Especially to you, Dan. You have to know it. She may not want you to know and want to keep this forever, but I can't. And everyday I woke up, I'm feeling guilty for not telling you, and I can't even do anything to help her now." Glen said, he stay there waiting for him to say it. He look at the window as he continue on listening to him praying is not something he would regret for leaving her.

"She never cheat." Glen and he look at him again it's the same that Mark did. It questions his head on what he is thinking right now.

That makes no sense. After the relationship got in public he'll hear this shit that she never cheat? No way! He knew that woman won't make up stories for nonsense and why would she do that? And for what reason she'd do that?

Out of nowhere he burst laughing at that nonsense confesion of revelation about her.

"I'm not joking." Glen said which made him stop from laughing seeing his serious face.

"What do you mean?" Mark asked curiously.

Glen sighed deeply and stare out the window for a moment.

"That's what I know." He said

"That's all?" He asked and Glen did not respond as he and Mark were waiting for him. He thought there is something else.

He thought Glen will say something that will shock him, but he doesn't opening his mouth for a minute now. He shook his head showing his disappointment.

The whole ride is silent after that conversation.

GLEN doesn't have the courage to tell him all, not yet. He doesn't know how to begin.

He was ready to tell Dan everything but his tongue back off. He changed his mind for the last second.

He thought he was ready enough after all these years. Yes he felt guilty for keeping the truth from Dan, but he wanted to keep his promise he made for Jess that he would never tell Danny and he would let her do it on her own.

But until when? Until when she'll hide herself and keep the truth from Danny? Until when she'll say that she never cheat on him, That she was being threatened and was being used by that bastard.

And until when he'll gonna lie to his own friend ? Until when he'll feel guilty for not telling him?

He knows that it will help the both of them to fix the misunderstanding if he could tell Danny but he had promise Jess.

He let out a deep sigh which made Mark's turn his head on him. He keep on staring outside while his fingers tapping his knee.

He couldn't stop thinking of Jess if where she could be. It might be easy if they still have contact each other. It may be easy for him to convince her or it may be easy for him tell her that he couldn't keep his promise, that he couldn't take not to tell Danny the truth.

He rest his head and deeply close his eyes while thinking hard on what he should do.

But at the end he is still determined to shut his mouth and maybe wait for Jessie to show up if she'll show up.

It's so hard for him to make a decision like this, It will never be easy but once a promise is always a promise. Jessie trusted him, and he knows that no matter what, Jessie believe that he is protecting that secret of her and he doesn't want that to be broken.

Sometimes he doubts himself. He is quetioning himself if this loyalty is still right or not.

And no matter how many times he question himself he would never get the right answer not until she return.