If I only could

Chapter 29

"Are you married? Or have a boyfriend? If you don't mind." He asked and she just keep on staring at him.

"Unfortunately I'm divorce." She said after a few seconds which made Dan look away. "You don't have to worry being around. I'm living here alone." She said to make him comfortable and for him not worry.

"I won't lie, I do still hate you, but I can set that aside for Ellaine." He started.

"It happened already so I won't blame you if you feel that way." She said still she doesn't have the courage to tell him the whole truth, and she might not tell him forever. It's in the past now, it has been five years.

"Yeah and I can't still believe you could do that. But anyway it's all in the past now. Jackie and I broke up too after 2 years." He said with that she look at him. "We part ways with closure." He said in a low voice but enough for her to hear that. "And I wish us too." He added and this time he said it while looking at her. She look away when their eyes met.

How nice that they're talking it right now like nothing happened a moment ago and it's funny how they are staying in the same roof for a long time now.

"Mistakes can happen in human's life too." She said trying to avoid him.

"You're right and that mistake destroy everything." He said and she could feel that he's saying this to make her feel guilty.

And she felt that right now but she is feeling more pain than guilt.

She look at him once again, she wanted to get closer to him, touch him and want him to embrace her to take all the pain away.

"Are you not going?" She asked to change the topic

"And for you to run away?" He added to her words and shook his head. "Nope, even if we're awkward with each othet I'd chose to stay he--- Oh right! Yeah that's right. Since you're alone , maybe I can stay over not until we flew back to dublin or our daughter come." He said which it made her eyes big.

No way!!! Them staying together for a week??? No way!!! It's not that she doesn't want to, but what if she couldn't control herself? No way!

"If you are thinking that way I'm not. You may not trust me but I won't run away like what you're thinking. Oh yeah! It is unexpected to meet you here and to be honest I didn't want you around because don't you feel awkward being around with your ex-wife? And by the way, You hate me, right? So yo---"

"I do! But I'd rather stay here before you even run away. I won't let it happen again. I let you go before because I never knew that you will be gone for five years and I don't know how long you'll do it if I didn't see you and even chase you." He said. "No more buts! Even if we have to sleep in the same room and same bed it's much way better than looking for you again once you left again." He continue. She shook her head while rolling her eyes.

"You really don't trust me now." She said in a whisper and he heard that. He nod while smirking.

"Right!" He said.

And a moment of silence came. They are just keep on looking at each other without saying anything.

"Was it your boyfriend?" He asked and broke the silence between them. "I mean the guy ... at the restaurant." He asked because he is curious.
She shook her head.

"Just someone." She said.

"Oh suitor?" He asked again how great that he is talking to her that way. Again she shook her head. "You don't have to deny it. I have no right to be mad nor to be jealous you know and besides we have ended everything between us, didn't we?" He said saying those words like their love is nothing to him at all. She remain silent.

"You haven't change at all." Suddenly he said while staring at her. "Well there is a change. You became a lot prettier now." He said and those eyes while he is saying that is killing her softly. She ignore him.

He started to yawn, he might be tired now.

"You can go home now." She said but he just lay himself down on the couch and curl himself.

"I'll just sleep here." He said

"Please..." she begged.

"I am not doing this because I want to, I am doing this for Ellaine's sake." He said.

"And I have told you I'm going to see her and I won't run away like what you're thinking." She answered.

"I'm sorry, It's not that I don't trust your words, I just don't trust you." He said and she sigh.

"You won't be able to sleep there. You're too tall for that couch." She said.

"Do you have an extra room?" He said

"I only have one room since I live here alone." She said.

"It doesn't matter. I'm tired so I'll just sleep here. " He said and started to close his eyes. She panic a bit and stood up. He won't be able to sleep there comfortably and she can't take to watch him sleeping in that small couch. It's not that the couch is small, he is just too tall for it.

She shake his shoulder a little bit and she mumble something.

"Just get in the room." She said trying to convince him to get there.

"Isn't it too awkward to sleep with my ex-wife." He said in his lower voice. She hit him slightly on the back which make him move because it might hurt him.

"Get up there now, Daniel!!" She said without realizing that she's acting like his wife now. Danny look at her which make her feel embarassed but what makes her surprised is he follow what he told her and casually walk and she guide him the way to her room.

He might be so tired that he just flopped himself on the bed while still wearing his shoes and quickly fell asleep.

She walk closer and take his shoes off while being cautious of him and the next thing she did, she take his watch off his wrist even put a blanket on him.

After doing that her eyes automatically look at his wonderful face. It's been years since the last time she look at his face this close. She lie down next to him and face him to watch him sleep.

She missed doing this, She missed all those times she spent together with him, but just watching him wouldn't satisfy her. Only if she could kiss him again.

A tear fell off on her pillow and she quickly wipe it off.

She stare at him for a long time until her eyes met his lips.. all the emotions are flowing now..

She gently move her hand and gently touch his lips with her finger, she close her eyes and let herself cry on how much she is regretting everything at this moment.

She moved and touch his cheek while her thumb finger is gently rubbing on his lips.

When she open her eyes there she met his eyes, instead of getting shocked she did not move even a bit, she's just staring at him letting him see her tears and not even taking her hand off him.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly in his lower voice and she watch his lips move on her finger. She just close her eyes and shook her head.

She open her eyes and saw his beautiful eyes once again and her eyes started to get busy looking down on his lips and on his eyes.

The next thing she realized is that she couldn't control herself that she is kissing him deeply now that make him confuse but doesn't even dare make a move for a while. It's like he just let her or maybe it was unexpected that it make him shocked for a while.

She pull an inch away and started to rub her thumb on his lips once again with their forehead touching each other and her eyes are close while he is staring at her still wondering what was that for.

"What was that for?" He asked in a whisper with his breath touching hers. She remain silent and remain in that position while he is still figuring out why she did that and what she did that for.