The Cub in the Water

OPENING ACT

One day she came by my room, "It's decided. We are moving to California. I have been offered a one-year stay at the University of California in San Diego. We must get there next month. Please arrange everything you need in school to make the transfer. Start packing your stuff."

I was sitting on my bed playing with my PS2. I looked up at her in all seriousness and calmly said, "YOU are moving to California. I'm staying here. I'm not going anywhere with you. I've had enough."

"Come again?"

"I'm done. You do whatever you want."

"How can you say that?! We are not going through this again, Mia. I'm not leaving you alone for you to change your mind and run off when you can't deal with the consequences of your decisions anymore. This dynamic is not working."

"I agree, mom. This doesn't work. I'm not going."

"I'm not asking you if you want to. I'm telling you, you are coming. End of the discussion." She turned her back on me to make her way out.

"You have come and gone without me before, do it again." She turned back to me annoyed by my voice and I continued, "I'll stay here with my friends and finish the school year. You don't want me to go to Karina's house? Fine, I won't go, but I'm not coming with you either. You can't make me. It's your dream, not mine. Go on, live it and leave me alone."

"I can't believe how selfish you are. This could be a great opportunity for both of us. Mexico is flushing itself down the toilet and it is just stupid of you to want to stay here and to stay alone for that matter."

"Then I'm stupid, but I'm not going with you. I'll be here when you get back."

"What are you going to tell your father?"

"Me?"

"I'll be telling him the truth, that I'm going to work at the University."

"Fine. I'll tell him that I'm staying here with someone. We've been through this before. Remember? Handle your end I'll handle mine."

"One day you'll look back on these stupid teenage decisions you have made over the years and realize you screwed up everything. You'll look back and regret each and every single one of them."

She left my room and started packing. After a couple of weeks, she was all set. She took off in a plane with a one-way ticket.

The moment I was left alone in the apartment her last words in the conversation in which each of us decided our fate, started ringing in my head, 'You'll look back and regret each and every single one of them,' I shook off the feeling and allowed one last thought, 'Perhaps one day.'

My mom doing whatever the hell she wants without any kind of regard for anyone else is just a common factor in the story of my life. Up until this point, she had messed up pretty badly, several times, and I was just so tired of her crap, of her consequences, of her fucking whirlpool. A huge part of my life had been her making borderline decisions and me being dragged by the tides that came with them.

It didn't start with me being the sole recipient of her drama, though. Once upon a time, we were three people trying to survive this family.

And if you surviving the very one thing that's supposed to keep you safe, and give you love and give you the elements for a good life or whatever, well... I'm guessing you get the point.

Some things keep coming back until we learn what they are so eagerly trying to teach us. This is the story about my some of those things.

The heated argument took place in the TV Room. Dad approached mom while she was knitting a yellow scarf on the sofa and I was watching the Rescuers Down Under movie.