The Cub in the Water

BOSTON LIFE

You can only fall if you once were flying at the very top of the skies. You can only know you are at the if you have experienced the amazingness of the view of the heights. You can only feel heartbreak if you once experienced the vastness of love.

The place where they would try to build a home and make the best of the second chance they not so eagerly took, was located on Dean Road, Brookline. It was a three-bedroom apartment with a small dining room and a small kitchen. The wooden floors in combination with the dim lighting at night made it unexpectedly cozy.

Things started out great. At least to me, everything felt like a fairytale. We lived in front of this great playground. We could literally cross the street to fly kites, kick some ball, play in sandboxes and on the swings. In the winter, the park got painted in white, the kind of white that makes you take your skates and sleds outside.

I remember vividly the first time he took me out to test drive our sled.

"What do you say, sweetie?" asked my dad.

We were facing, what seemed to me at that time, this humongous hill filled with snow waiting for us to have the ride of our lives.

"Am... I'm not sure daddy." That thing was intimidating.

My dad took my hand and said to me, "Come on! This will be great! You'll feel like flying!"

I was so excited and scared at the same time. We hopped on the sled and threw ourselves into the adventure. The first seconds of it were awesome. I got the front row experience, the cold wind crushing against my cheeks and the speed of the sled going down the hill making this void feeling appear in my stomach. It all felt great. It was the first roller coaster experienced in my life.

Little did my dad know that his words would turn out to be quite prophetic. We hit a bump and the next thing I knew, I was flying across the sky yelling, "wiiiiii," getting a perfect 10 for managing to land and completely bury myself in the snow.

Two seconds later, the sled with my very grown-up dad flew over the snowy bump that I had made myself into.

"Honey! Are you okay?" My dad had thrown himself off the sled and ran up to me.

His small little bump with golden hair covered in snow got up and yelled, "Let's do that again, daddy!"

The Boston lifestyle was good for me. Soon I was fitting right in. It felt like we were building a life there.

The subway was a place of weekly adventures for my dad and me.

"Give me your hand, baby."

"What for, daddy?"

"Thumb wars."

"Dad, your thumb is way bigger than mine."

"It's not about size or strength young Padawan, it's about speed. You just have to be quick enough to escape my thumb. Ready?"

"Ready!"

It was our daily form of transportation so that's where most of our father-daughter conversations took place. We sat on the plastic seats of the metal box every day and he listened to me ramble on and on about whatever story came to my mind.

"Daddy, today school was great!"

"Really?"

"Yes, Linda and I went to the moon to collect specimens for our rock collection! Then we brought them back to the lab to study the materials, made some experiments with water and dirt, we wanted to see if they changed colors because I thought that them being from outer space they would do cool stuff."

"And what happened? Did your hypothesis turned out to be right?"

"No. They just became darker from the water and the mud. Linda wanted to paint them. I thought that would be cheating science. So, we decided to ditch the experiment and turn them into masterpieces." I took one out of my bag, "For you daddy!" I handed him a rock painted in orange and black paint, "it's an Ernie! It's not as fluffy as mine, but still, he'll be a great friend!"

He laughed, "I love it, honey! I'll put it on my desk in the lab. That way he can always be with me."

"Yes!"

"You like doing experiments, huh?"

"Yes! Just like you!"

He smiled. "Would you like to come with me to the lab to help me feed and pat the ferrets? I do need help. It is an important task. Science depends on it being done properly."

"I'm in, dad! I could be your assistant!"

"The best and cutest assistant ever," he winked at me.

Boston was a place to love.

There I fell for my all-time favorite Disney stories. When the Lion King premiered, my dad took me to the movies and we saw the film around four times in one day. Every time we got out of the theatre I would say, "Dad I want to see it again!" and back in we went. There was something that made me feel so close to that story, something familiar.

I danced along to Beauty and the Beast's most iconic scene in our living room, with my timeless, amazing and super-hot boyfriend Big Bird, whom I personally liked to call Montoya. I Sang along Ariel's rebellious song Part of Your World and imagined myself as a mermaid while swimming happily in my swim class.

Beach trips were exciting and super fun. Getting ready to go out always led to the ultimate road trip experience, snacks in the car and sing along. Running away from the cold water and watching my mom and dad's faces the moment they felt it in their feet made me laugh every time.

I had all the American childhood experiences, mac & cheese as a favorite dinner, PB+J's as a favorite breakfast or lunch or dinner or whatever, Dr. Seuss as reading entertainment, Sesame Street as a favorite TV show, goldfish crackers as a favorite snack and Belle as a favorite Disney princess.

What about my experiences with my mom while we lived there? Well, how to say this politely? She wasn't really in the picture of this adventure, at least in my picture. Something my mom didn't find amusing at all. "You and your perfect little daddy... You sure made it seem like it was all about you two in Boston. You left me all alone," she used to nag. 

Boston left a mark on me. My dad's academic stay lasted no more than two years. During the time we spent together, my heart felt warmth, security, and love. My head started to fill up with these amazing and loving experiences, creating unforgettable memories that would end up defining me, even up to this day.

Those were the two most beautiful childhood years of my life. Eventually, I came to remember them, as the most, and maybe only, stable and happy years of our life as a family, and for a while, let's face it, of my life.

I was living in a beautiful and unique fairytale; unfortunately, I guess it was just mine. A couple of months after we arrived back in Mexico City, the beautiful bubble I had lived in for that brief time, started to look cloudy and fragile, until it wasn't strong, and it just popped.

You can only fall if you once were flying at the very top of the skies. You can only know you are at the if you have experienced the amazingness of the view of the heights. You can only feel heartbreak if you once experienced the vastness of love.