The Cub in the Water

HELGA, THE BLOWFISH, AND HER IRRATIONAL STUBBORNNESS

Our table was ready fast. The time that my mom had between half stripping herself in the middle of the mall revealing why she returned, and my grandpa turning around to inform us we were all set, wasn't enough for her to even begin to tell the story my aunts and I were waiting to hear.

As soon as my mom heard my grandfather's voice she put the sweater back on and looked at us with watery eyes, "Please don't say anything to them. I'm embarrassed enough as it is. I don't want them to worry about something they can't do anything about. I promise I'll talk about it with each of you of you later. I needed to show you because not saying anything was driving me crazy."

Everyone nodded with a concerned look in their eyes and answered my grandfather's call to go inside the restaurant. We all walked together without saying a word to one another, with the feeling that there was a lot that was needed to say and no time or place. We all displayed some sort of face that expressed something along the lines of preoccupation, interrogation, confusion, sadness, and anger.

I'm not sure if we all had sort of the same feeling about the whole thing, and I couldn't help but wonder... I mean of course what my mom had experienced sure was something horrible and we were all concerned about it, but what about all the crazy shenanigans she had put us through over the last few weeks? Where they never meant to be spoken about? Was it all caused by the horrible and stressful situation she had been living in? And if so, were we supposed to justify everything and just move on? Or was there a tiny chance this was not as straightforward as she was leading us to believe?

As the night developed, the conversation over dinner eventually landed on her trip and the outcomes of it. My grandparents asked about what she was doing over there and if she had found whatever she went looking for.

As she heard the questions delivered to her at once, the look in her eyes immediately turned serious and sad. She looked up at all of us, "Life sometimes has a funny way of putting things in perspective for you. That's what this trip did for me. There were some unexpected things that made me value my life here with you, my family, more than ever. There is no need to talk about it since it's something that I would like to keep in the past. All you need to know is that now I know that my place is here with you, and that you, all of you, my daughter, my parents, my siblings and my niece and nephews are the most important thing in the whole wide world to me. I know that now and from this moment on, it's something that will never change. This is where I belong."

I looked around and I knew we were all having the same kind of thought and sentiment towards her words. Something along the lines of, 'Oh that's nice. Whatever happened must have changed her and now she knows what's what. Let's all move on and leave behind whatever crazy stuff went down. Let's all be a happy family again,' we were all touched as hell. We all nodded and smiled behind watery eyes. We were hooked.

A bunch of fools that's what we were.

You see, the thing about my mom is that she plans every situation she needs to control, perfectly. She does not leave any space for mistakes. Her timing is impeccable. She leaves every single element she needs to make her story come through hanging around for you to find eventually. She has a Masters in getting into trouble, and a Ph.D. in getting herself out of it. It is as if she can anticipate your every move, you every thought and your every feeling towards the situation she has laid before you. As I said, she is a very brilliant psychologist.

You won't see it coming. You will not be able to prepare yourself for it, and when you least expect, you'll find yourself caught in the story she meant for you to believe and develop. You'll feel exactly how she wants you to feel, you'll think exactly what she needs you to think, and therefore you'll act exactly the way she needs you to.