Regrets

S E V E N

Storm clouds were gathering in the horizon and a rumble of thunder crackled. It was a cold night, the type of coldness that reaches into my bones, as if my heart were a door left wide open to the icy wind, slamming only to open again. A huff escaped from my mouth as I walked over to my window. I moved the curtain to reveal the sky rolling blanket of cloud the color of wet ash. I scrambled to reach my phone, scrolling through my contacts. My thumb hovered over his name for a second before I decide to send another text accompanying my hundred unread messages.

7 months after we had been together Felix stopped seeing me in front of the gate where he usually would. I would see him sitting in the cafeteria alone but when I came to sit next to him he would just walk away. It hurt, trust me it hurt like hell watching him reject me piece by piece. It came to the point where I couldn't even sleep or eat properly. I had enough and decided to confront him.

"yah! blockhead" he was walking home and parked my bike right in front of him.

"what's wrong with you? why do you keep rejecting me? did I do something, are you feeling okay?"I put my hand on his forehead. I waited for him to reply but nothing came out of his mouth.  "say something ?!" I shouted catching some people's attention. He simply just walked past me and headed out of the gates.

"Felix please you're hurting me" I shouted falling on my knees "Please turn around baby please"my eyes started to sting. It started to rain and I stayed there cuddling my knees. It's funny how your heart burns and burns then go cold all of a sudden.

 An umbrella appeared over me."get up" I heard a person say. I looked up to see Jimin. He wasn't looking at me, but out into the distance. I knew he didn't like seeing me like this. 

"Jimin!" I stood up hugging him tightly crying on his shoulder "Felix..."

"I know," he said stroking my hair.

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It had been 2 weeks and Felix hadn't come to school since.

"Heyy hows my bestie going"Jimin put his hand on my shoulder 

"he still hasn't come .." I breathed showing my books into the bag.

"Aish this kid... I told you not to talk about him" he said hitting my shoulder. 

"How?! Jimin how, tell me how I'm meant to forget about him?" I  dropped my bag on the floor making some people turn around.

"Okay, okay calm down I'll take you to his house today and well see there," he said trying to calm me down.

"Thanks, Jimin" I picked up my bag and walked towards my next class with Jimin trailing behind.

                                                                      ---

I took a deep breath as I rang the doorbell, I quickly straightened mu posture and pat my hair down. The door opened to his mum standing there with an apron on.

"ah y/n come inside" 

"oh it's ok" I bowed "I just wanted to talk to Felix"

"oh, he left a week ago to America didn't he tell you" I felt my heart sink as she said those words. America? I walked back down the stairs feeling light-headed where Jimin was waiting.

"what happened? you look so pale? are you feeling okay?" he bombarded me with questions.

"he left...to America"I collapsed into his arms.

"y/n wake up!" I heard him calling. I could feel him shaking my shoulders as I fell slowly to the floor. Everything was blurry and slowly the darkness took over.

I woke up in my own bed with sunlight hitting my face. I suddenly remembered last night and my heartfelt heavy again.he could have told me.

"y/n Jimin is here" I heard my mum calling me.

"Tell him to come up here" I shouted back.

"your mum makes the best mochis," he said stuffing his face walking into my room.

"what do I do Jimin" I sighed trying to smile at his cuteness. I fell back on my bed with a thud.

"I hate myself soo much" I sighed as I put the burned cake in the bin that I tried to bake for Felix but ended up nearly blowing up the whole house. 

"it's okay, I love you enough for the both us" he breathed back hugging me.

I kept replaying happy moments in my head which I shared with him.there was no warning to it, just suddenly stopped.

"Follow your heart" he finally answered laying beside me.

"ha," I laughed at his cheesiness, "everyone says that," I said fiddling with my thumbs "but what if your hearts in a trillion pieces, which one do I follow?"