And I ache [Zadr]

"I think you look amazing"

(same day as last chapter)

Lunch.
Oh how dreadful this time was to Zim today.
He was visibly disturbed, playing nervously with the straps of the bag he held. His heart was quick and so was his breathing, he couldn't control it.
And then everything stopped.

"Hey, Zim! I didn't think I'd see you here...because of Valentine's Day and you bringing a little something for someone." Dib laughed, but it was painfully obvious that he was trying to hide the jealousy and pain from his voice.
But Zim was kind of dumb with emotions so it flew through his head.
"Oh- Uh- Yeah- f-fuck- WOO today is...Valentine's Day! Yeah- human traditions- stupid!! So stupid...anyways, here's your gift."
Zim announced the gift nonchalantly, somehow not freaking out over this dumb display of affection. He surprised himself by how calm he said it, especially from how nerve wrecking he sounded at the start.

Dib mouth was gaped.
What the fuck??
"This is...mine??"

"YES DUMB HUMAN IT IS YOURS NOW TAKE IT BEFORE I REGRET IT"

Dib hesitated for a split second- was this some kind of scheme?
Looking up at Zim made him ditch that idea, though. He looked genuine- his face was flushed and he was looking away in embarrassment.

Dib found it cute.

Reaching out to the bag that Zim was holding out in front of him, he took it with a shaky hand and a surprised expression.
Why would Zim give him this?
Why is Zim so embarrassed? Does he know what this gift means?

"I- wow. Thank you, Zim. I didn't...I never expected this."

Zim scoffed and hid his face with his gloved hands, "whatever, Dib!! Just open it, or whatever..."
Dib was still in shock as he sat down at a table near them, ready to see what was inside. He doubted it was a joke by the way Zim was acting. He was so weird to see the alien such a way. But it seemed genuine.

He undid the ribbon that kept the bag closed and gasped when he saw all the tasty treats. Cake, cinnamon rolls, and...a heart shaped box. Filled with chocolates.
Dib's heart raced.
"Ah- gosh, Zim. This- this is really sweet of you. I'm shocked."

Zim bit hard on his bottom lip at an attempt to stop the shy smile that wanted to grow on his face. Fuck.
"Ye-yeah- Zim is good at gifts. I knew exactly what you'd like! So!! You should start eating because Zim has noticed that you haven't been doing so!!"

Dib's heart now went to a halt.
Oh?
"W-what? Wait, is that what this is all about? I'm...I do eat Zim, I eat enough"
Dib lied.
His heart began beating fast again.
It felt wrong to lie to Zim for some fucking reason. He hated it. He doesn't have to lie much about food, since his sister and dad don't even pay much attention to him and he's managed to go days without a single piece of food.

Zim's eyebrows scrunched you, "if you did then you would be eating at skool"
Dib swallowed dryly. Why was Zim so nosy about this?
"So what if I don't sometimes? I mean, what does it do? What will it do to me? Nothing! Zim, you don't know anything about that."
Zim huffed, "I do know! Well- maybe not really, but I will. You can't go for so long without eating, I do know that at least. So, I want you to eat what I bought you"

Dib eyed the sweets nervously.
They looked delicious.
But it was so much...
He couldn't lose his progress.
He's already lost a few pounds. He really doesn't want to go back to being a "chair".
Dib glances up at Zim.
His face softened.
Zim looked concerned. Yeah, angry as well, but concerned.
He's never had anyone so concerned before. His dad wouldn't understand his weight and eating issues. He knows that as a fact. And his sister? Fuck. He hopes she never finds out. That would be embarrassing.
"Zim...I don't know if I can."

Zim frowned, "but why? What's wrong? When we hung out those few times you didn't seem to care about what you ate. Are you sick? Is this some kind of human sickness?"
Dib grimaced at how dumb he must look right now- he didn't want to tell Zim the real reason. There's a huge chance he'll just be made fun of. It's Zim after all.
Seconds pass with Dib struggling mentally until he makes a decision. Fine.

With a shaky sigh, Dib looks away and confesses.
"Don't make fun of me, k? Well- ever since I became that stupid "chair" or whatever you called me, I've become very self conscious. It's stupid! I know! But anyways, I lost the weight. I was healthy again. But I couldn't stop and I don't know. I just...struggle with eating? Some days I'm fine. Like...when I was with you."

Dib felt his eyes begin to sting with unwanted tears daring to spill. Gosh this was stupid.

Zim wanted to make a joke. He didn't fully understand Dib, and he had many ideas on how to joke about the topic but he kept his mouth shut.
This seemed serious.
And it did hurt Zim to know Dib was feeling such a way that he couldn't even bring himself up to letting himself have a basic human need.
Zim got out of his seat where he was facing Dib face to face and went over to sit by his side instead.
Dib didn't seem to notice, so lost in his own thoughts.
Until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He bit his lip hard. Tears dared to pour. He felt like he was suffocating. But yet he felt so relieved for getting all of that off his chest.

"Dib. I...I think you look great-"

Dib's breath hitched.
Did Zim just say that?

"This is so embarrassing to say, yknow that, Dib stink. Don't think I'm just saying this to be nice because I would never say such embarrassing things and not mean it. I'm being honest."

Silence.

"...Dib, you...you don't need to lose weight. It doesn't seem like me saying this will help- but, I mean it. You have a perfectly normal human body. You don't need to lose weight. Sure, don't go back to being a chair that was...unhealthy. But this is unhealthy, too. Don't damage yourself for this. I know you're smarter than that, Dib."

Dib bit his lip harder. He felt like he was going to draw blood.

Zim couldn't stop talking. His heart felt tight, he was feeling scared now. Dib wasn't responding, and Zim's thoughts were going so fast. What was his Dib doing to himself?

"I think you look amazing."

Zim's face was fucking blazing. But he didn't want to stop telling Dib how he felt.
Dib was vulnerable, and as much as Zim didn't want to say this out loud, he really fucking cared for the human.
Dib was with him when Zim was vulnerable. He knew he should stay with Dib at such a time too.

Zim gasped in surprise when he was suddenly being embraced by two long arms.
Dib was hugging him.
And he was crying.
Zim didn't hug back immediately, he was in shock at first from the sudden hug.
He slowly wrapped his arms around the other boy, hugging him with a slight squeeze.

"...thank you, Zim"

(Word count: 1,261
A/N: Dib with an eating disorder makes me so sad ;( I torture myself. I have an eating disorder and writing Dib with one makes me sAD AF LMAO- what do u guys think of him with the disorder-? Is it a little too serious for the fic-?)