Spoken Word Poetry

"can I?"

I don't know how to start
How could I tell those things that I hide for a long time
I'm done pretending
It's too hard to look okay everyday
I'm tired hiding the truth
I'm tired smiling just to hide the pain
I'm tired of laughing just to stop those tears from falling
I'm tired of faking my smiles just to cover the sadness in my eyes
I'm done pretending of being happy
Just for others not to see me cry
Cause all I want is to make them think that I'm fine😌
Even though I'm really tired
Cause I already tried my best
And sorry if for that time I can't handle it anymore😞
I can't fight for those problems alone
I'm tired facing it on my own
All of my life I'm always fighting for everything or for anyone
But it's never been enough
They still leave me💔
even if I gave my best
It's always end up worthless
I just want to be happy
So why it can't be??😢
It's that really hard to be with me?
It's that hard for anyone to make me feel enough?
Just for once.. even just for once
If there's no one😔
Then please let me ask something
Can I be happy??😁
I want to feel free
From pain, sadness, problems and lies
I'm tired of crying every night
I'm tired of thinking things that won't happen anyway
Tired of faking my smiles😌
I'm tired of being hurt
I want the real happiness
I have made many sacrifices
I cried a lot of tears😭
I fight for others many times
I think that's all enough
And it's time for me to stop
I want to end the pain
I really want to end this sh*t!
'Cause honestly
It's d*mn killing me💔😞