𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐏 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 , doctor who

vii. february 29th, 1544

journal entry #6 AN ENTRY ON THE VISIT
DURING THE YEAR OF OUR LORD, 1544.

"I see you have finally broken, my friend."

The Doctor glared at me with such ferocity as he stepped out of his home, but I did not falter. I had seen this coming, and he had refused my help so long ago.

I looked over his clothes, ragged and torn from a battle I could only imagine the hardships of. His skin was battered and bruised, blood trailing from cuts and dirt scuffing his limbs.

But most concerning of all were his eyes. They looked the same as they always had.

His body said rage, but his eyes screamed numb.

"If you arrive to supper in this state, Jesabele will surely be upset at the both of us." I would not speak to him of what had happened. What he most desperately needed now was a distraction. He would tell me when he was ready.

He granted my request, cleaning himself up in my bathroom. As we began our trek to the dining hall I pat his back firmly and looked to him with a gracious smile.

"Head up, Doctor. My life is too short for you to be moping about." He finally cracked a grin, and shrugged.

"Not my fault you've gotten so grown," he replied. "Like what's that hideous thing?"

"That's my goatee, sir, I spent copious amounts of time on it."

He let out a hearty laugh, making my heart soar just as we walked into the dining hall. My wife sat with our five year old son, keeping his young mind active with little games.

"Jesabele, my condolences," he laughed. I elbowed him as she snapped her head up in pure worry and clutched Horatio a little closer to her chest.

"Whatever do you mean, Doctor?"

"Have you seen this lately?" He reached up and yanked gently on my facial hair. "Truly tragic." I swatted him away and Jesabele giggled graciously into her hand as she always did. Horatio called out for his 'grandfather,' and so The Doctor swiftly came forward to pick him up.

He greeted Jesabele with kisses to her rosy cheeks, and we sat for dinner.

It was going so swimmingly too, until The Doctor began to use that big head of his. He watched as our cook came out to ask if the meal was well, how I so foolishly batted my eyelashes at him and how we held eye contact longer than strangers should.

He looked over to how Jesabele, my beloved wife, sat to the right of me, yet made no move to make any contact. How she kept her loving hands to herself, and how her attention was most always on our beautiful son.

The Doctor knew what a marriage was suppose to look like, and he knew ours was not it.

So he grabbed the fabric covering my shoulder, and forced me to lean closely to him.

"You should tell Jesabele before it goes any further," he whispered into my ear. "I'd hate for her to get hurt when she did nothing wrong."

My heart froze as I looked to him and I felt my brown skin grow pale. My hands began to shake and my eyes shimmered as what I had feared for so long manifested before my eyes.

The cruel look he gave made me feel as if I was already on my way to the public noose.

"Abraham, dear, is everything alright?" I heard Jesabele mutter, her voice sounding as if I were drowning. She paused in her light conversation with Horatio to feel at my forehead, searching for any sudden fevers. When I made no move to respond, she grabbed my hand. "Dear, you're worrying me."

"Go on, tell her," The Doctor insisted. Did he mean well? I couldn't tell. "It'll do you good. Both of you."

"Doctor, you stay out of this," she snapped. I had only heard her use that tone when we first met, and her father had began to hurl slurs in my direction.

It was the tone of a true protector, so The Doctor stepped down and clamped his mouth shut.

I finally glanced up to my wife, and I felt as if I could release the rope of the guillotine myself. I felt as if I had failed as a husband. I felt as if I had failed as a father. I felt as if I had failed as a friend.

Suddenly her fingers tightened around mine, and she laughed. I followed her gaze to see the cook I adored peeking his head in from the other side of the door.

"Is this about him? He's quite the gorgeous one, is he not?" She smiled softly and placed an assuring kiss to my forehead. "No worries, dear." I stared at her in shock as she pulled away. She reached for Horatio, pulling him onto her lap and covering his ears. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "If I may be honest, I have been having an affair with one of the maids."

I am certain if The Doctor had been sipping on the wine before him (he despised the stuff), then he would have spit it all over our nice linen cloths. Instead, he simply said, "Well. That was unexpected."

I ignored him. I kept my eyes on wife. I mean every word when I say I love her with every ounce of my soul. I would move mountains for her, and I would stop time in its track just to have one more moment on Earth with her.

Our love was just never meant to be a romantic one.

She laughed once again at my starstruck expression, bowing her head to kiss my knuckles softly.

"We shall stay married," she continued. "I would not have it any other way, my dear. Our marriage provides our son with stability and keeps outside presences unsuspecting. But we cannot continue to live like this. We should not be forced to sleep in the same bed at night in an attempt to be someone we are not."

The more her melodic voice spoke the more I arrived back to reality. I began to nod in agreement with her words, a small excitement bubbling in my chest. Finally I spoke.

"What is her name, Jesabele? She should join us for supper." She beamed at my words, Horatio simply looking on curiously.

"Maryanne is her name." Jesabele thought to herself for a moment, a blush rising against her already rosy cheeks. "And do you know his name?"

"Kasey," I murmured. "But I have not confessed anything to him."

"There is no day like the present, dear."

"Well right on then," The Doctor cheered. I finally looked back to him and felt my worries flood back.

"You are alright with... me, Doctor?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, almost offended by the suggestion. "Why wouldn't I be, Abraham? I've had experience with a fair share of men. Didn't I tell you when you were twelve that love comes in all forms?"

And we spent the rest of our afternoon like that, the three of us confessing different secrets and discussing what the future might hold for us and how Horatio might grow up with more than two parents now.

Our joyous laughter echoed throughout the galaxy, resonating clearly even after my old eccentric friend bid his goodbye for the last time.