After Death | Bucky Barnes(Republished)

You Love Me

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      I walked the corridors of one of our bases alone one night. Me and my men were assigned a security shift. I looked at my watch, almost three am, I had ordered my men to take the night off, they are of no use to me dead on their feet. 

I wandered the lonely halls, still thinking of the man who had killed me when I heard footsteps behind me, I turned expecting to find one of my men. 

I was wrong. 

He stood six feet away from me.

At first his eyes showed traces of relief, quickly followed by worry. 

"Please, we need to talk." He said holding out both, his human hand and his metal hand, showing to me that he was unarmed. 

"How did you get inside?" I demanded.

"Y/n." he pleaded as I pulled out my hand gun and pointed it at him.

"Answer me!" I shouted.

"Please put the gun down." he said softly,  he took a step towards me.

"Don't move." I commanded, holding my position. 

"Please hear me out y/n." He said again.

"I'm not interested in what you have to say." I spat, he took another step towards me, I took one step back not lowering my weapon.

"I said, don't move!" I threatened. He took another step. I pulled the trigger, he easily moved his metal arm to stop the bullet, it ricocheted off and hit the wall next to me.

He twisted my hand making me drop my gun and pinned my shoulders to the wall so I was facing him. His metal arm holding me by my neck.
Softly enough to where it didn't choke me, but sturdy enough that I couldn't move. I grabbed his metal forearm and pushed it away, he looked shocked as he saw me easily push it away.
The metal in his arm recalibrated and I felt it get stronger against my hand.
I pushed it far enough away and quickly kicked his stomach, he fell back and hit the wall; but he quickly regained himself.

"Y/n, please try to remember." he begged, "I don't want to hurt you." 
I threw a punch in his direction which he easily blocked, he shoved me and my back hit the concrete wall; the force of the impact made me groan.
I  spotted the gun on the floor a few feet away, he followed my glance and we both quickly made a move for it.
I beat him to it and pointed it back at him he stood at arms reach from me.

"I know you won't kill me." He said.

"And how could you possibly know that?" I asked.

"Because you love me." he replied, his eyes looked sad. It caught me off guard.

"What?" I asked.
He took advantage of my shock and took the gun out of my hands and pointed it back at me, he kept his eyes on mine.
"...And I love you." he confessed. He then lowered the gun, took it by the barrel and handed it out to me.

"You killed me." I said, hesitated before taking the weapon from him.

"Is that what they've told you?" He questioned as he took a step closer. I didn't back away from him as I tried to read his soft eyes.

"That's what I know," I replied, "You're a traitor".
He was now inches from me, I was not afraid of him, I wanted answers. 

"I am your friend, more than a friend. I didn't kill you. I would never hurt you." he said softly. He fumbled with his holster on his right hip. His human hand pulling out a knife, my hand holding the gun flinched preparing to defend myself.

"Please, try to remember." He placed the knife in my hand. I looked at the sharp blade in my hand and looked back up at him, his blue eyes looking into mine.
Just then, alarms started blaring,  I could hear footsteps coming from behind us.
I glanced in their direction and then back at him, he looked at me with a worried face.

"Go!" I ordered, relief washed over his face, "Go now!" 
As I took a few steps back in their direction. I saw a small smile on his lips before he turned away. I told my men the hall was cleared and ordered them down to the next floor.

They checked the base extensively and he was no where to be found. The Winter Soldier got away, I was excused back to my quarters.
I sat on the bed and pulled out the knife he had given me, I played with it, thinking of what he had told me.
I let him get away.

Why the hell did I do that? 

Is it possible hes telling the truth?

 If what they've been telling me here is true, then why didn't he kill me today when he had the chance?'

I had too many questions and none of the answers made any sense.

Published September 4, 2015

Republished May 11, 2016