DIYAM

The Will

A jikin kofar na zame na zauna ina jin zuciyata tana wani irin bugawa, ji nake yi kamar zan mutu, kaina yayi wani irin zafi kuma hawaye ya tsaya a ido na. Ban taba tunanin it's possible ka tsani mutum kamar yadda naji na tsani Saghir a lokacin ba. Na fara girgiza kaina ina cewa "no no no" kamar mahaukaciya. I couldn't even imagine komawa gidan Saghir a matsayin mijina, I couldn't imagine him touching me again. I would rather die.

Ina jiyo maganganu a palo kamar muryar Inna amma bana gane me take cewa, sai naji ta taba kofar amma da yake ina jikin kofar sai ta kasa bude wa sai naji tana kiran Asma'u. Sai kuma naji ana knocking kofar. Da kyar na bude idona na matsa daga jikin kofar sai suka bude suka shigo su biyu sannan Subay'a ta shigo itama tana kallo na sai naga Asma'u tayi sauri ta dauke ta sun sake fita.

Inna ta durkusa gabana tana taba wuyana tana magana a hankali amma ni bana jin ma me take cewa. Sai kuma naga ta kama ni ta mayar dani kan gado ta kwantar dani ta juya na riko rigarta sannan cikin muryar da naji kamar ba tawa ba nace "Inna bazan koma ba. In na koma mutuwa zanyi" ta juyo tana kallona sai ta zauna tace "komawa ina?" Sai kawai na bita da kallo, wato Saghir saboda bai daraja ta ba bai ma gaya mata cewa ya mayar dani ba? Sai ta gane me nake nufi tace "cewa yayi ya mayar dake?" Ban iya bata amsa ba sai kuka, sai ta mike tsaye "wannan wanne irin abu ne? Wanne irin ya mayar dake kuma? Suzo nan su kare mana cin mutumci sannan kuma ya mayar dake bayan babu wani mataki da aka dauka? To babu inda zaki koma. Yanzu fa Hafsa take bani labarin wai kawun ku Isa ya bashi Suwaiba".

Suwaiba yar kawu Isa ce itama kuma kusan set din mu ce, mun dan girme ta kadan. Lokacin muna yara ita da Rumaisa ne suke crushing on hamma Saghir, Fati tana yawan gayamin cewa har yanzu Suwaiba tana son Saghir amma ni ban taba ko saka abin a raina ba.

Inna tace "wato su suna can suna kokarin yi masa huce haushi shine shi kuma zai zo nan yace ya mayar dake? To ku biyu yake so ya hada a gida daya ko kuma ya yake so ayi? Ai indai kinga kin koma gidansa to ki tabbatar an zauna ne an hada ku anyi muku fada kowa an bashi laifin sa bawai kullum ace kece da laifi ba" tayi ta fadanta ni dai ina jinta kawai. Amma ni a raina nasan ko anyi mana fadan bana jin zan iya sake zama da Saghir, not after what he did today, not after what he said a gaban Sadauki.

Tuno da Sadauki da nayi sai naji wata irin fargaba ta shige ni. Tsoro nake ji sosai, tsoron abinda Sadauki zai iya yi akan furucin da Saghir yayi a gaban sa. Ina tsoron zuciyar Sadauki, ina tsoron zafin sa, ina tsoron rashin yafiyar sa, considering abinda yaji da kuma yanayin da ya fita a ciki, bansan hukuncin da zai dauka ba. Sai na samu kaina dayi masa addu'ar Allah ya taushi zuciyarsa Allah ya hane shi ga aikata abinda zai zo yayi nadama.

Sai magrib na tashi. Nayi alwala nayi sallah nayi kuka sosai a cikin sujjada ta na roki Allah ya kawo haske a cikin al'amura na. A lokacin ne Asma'u suka dawo ita da Subay'a. Subay'a ta taho gurina da gudu ta fada jikina tana kallona tace "Mommy kin daina kukan? Dazu naga kina kuka" nace mata "na daina Subis" sai tayi dariya tace "Daddy ya tafi ko? Dama cewa yayi zai kawo ni gurinki in kwana biyu sai mu koma gidan mu tare" bance komai da akan wannan sai tace "Mommy kullum sai nayi kuka nace da Hajiya ta kawo ni gurinki ita kuma taki. Mommy dan Allah ni kar a mayar dani can gidan gwara in zauna a gurin ki ko kuma mu koma gidan Daddy na tare" sai na daga ta nace taje tayo alwala tayi sallah.

Na lura ta rame, ta fada sosai tayi baki. Kamar ba'a kula da tsaftarta sosai sannan idonta ya nuna alamar damuwa. Sai na yanke wata shawarar, bawai ni kadai ce bazan koma gidan Saghir ba har da Subay'a ma ba zata koma ba, tazo kenan.

Da dare ina jin Inna tana cewa Asma'u ta kira mata Sadauki, kamar tasan ina son in tabbayi lafiyar sa. Asma'u ta kira switched off, a raina nace nasan za'a rina, amma ban furta komai ba nayi shiru kawai. Nan fa hankalin Inna ya tashi tace "wai me ya faru ne mai zafi a tsakanin su? Ni sam banji dadin yadda naga Sadauki ba tunda kuma ya fita hankalina yana kansa wallahi" ta juyo tana kallona tace "me Saghir din ya gaya masa me zafi haka?" Na sunkuyar da kaina kawai, ni ba zan iya gaya mata kalaman Saghir ba. Jin nayi shiru sai tayi ajjiyar zuciya tace "Allah ya kyauta".