Redress (gxg)

Chapter 30 "Succumb"

Hearing my slow, deep breaths as I slowly approached him lying on the floor, bleeding, I adjusted my grip on the gun, preparing myself for any sudden movement from him. Pulling the trigger wasn't easy, I felt myself trembling from what I just did as good or bad people, I had no right to take their lives away, even if they did something unforgivable to me. I knew the road I chose would lead me to this, and even I often thought of killing, but it was a different feeling when you had actually done it. It felt terrible, thinking I had someone's blood on me, but I couldn't let them see me weak, and affected, and even if it was hard, I steeled myself.

Stopping, and hovering over his body, I felt my resolved slowly crumbled, seeing him catching his breath the best he can as blood soaked his shirt.

"I'm not..." Nikolai started as he coughed, catching my attention back to him.

"You made me do it, Nikolai..."

His lips suddenly curled up into a smile, "I'm not...gonna be the one who will...kill you," he stammered as his breaths were labored, making me frown.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're a...dead woman," he added, and it was as if in the blink of an eye, I was suddenly seeing my own self lying on the floor with a puddle of blood around me as I gasped for breath, looking at me, meeting my shocked gaze.

"You're a...dead woman," she repeated what Nikolai had said, and before I could even utter a word, everything just went dark and silent...and then, nothing...

"Alex...Alex!" I snapped out, and jolted in surprised as a sudden familiar voice echoed through my head, and eventually looking up, I saw Lauren's frowning face peering down at me. "Are you okay? Bad dream?" she added concernedly, making me nod. 

Glancing around the space as I heaved myself into a sitting position, realizing I was in her apartment, and just fell asleep on her couch. "I'm okay, just...yea, just some bad dream..." I stammered, briefly meeting her gaze as she took a seat next to me, "What was I doing?"

"You mumbled something..."

"Like what?" I queried, noticing how she took in a deep breath.

"You said something like...you're a dead woman," she answered with her forehead furrowed, "What does that mean? What was your dream, Alex?"

"Nothing, just some...random bad dream. We all have that..." I answered, trying to sound nonchalant, but she shook her head in disagreement.

"I don't think that's just it...You know, I've noticed how you spaced out a lot yesterday, you seemed like you were in a deep thought, like it was hard to get your full attention, and now this, your bad dream..." she paused as she put her hand atop mine on my lap, "just by looking at you, I know you haven't been sleeping properly, and I wanna know what's going on with you...So, did something happen that night? Because ever since you called me that night, and came back to see me two days after, you just seem...off." 

I faintly shook my head, briefly pursing my lips, "Nothing...nothing Lauren, it's just--"

"Nothing, but your eyes say otherwise. What is it Alex?" she asked, looking more serious and determined, "I know you too much not to notice something is up, and I wanna know what, so I could help you...I'm on your side, remember?" Briefly staring at her stern expression, I eventually stood up, and let out a deep breath, momentarily closing my eyes, calming myself as I was starting to get worked up. Even if I liked to keep it for myself, she needed to know after everything that happened. She was already involved in this. I knew telling her might change her perspective of me, but even if I kept the truth from her right now, she wouldn't give in, and would keep on asking me until she got her answers.