ｓｏｆｔ ｓｐｏｔ

Pinky promise| chapter 15

Song2plae: running out of time- tyler the creator (slowed+reverb)

Kairis pov

I just sat there in disbelief.

I should of kicked him out. I really should of. But instead i just got up and put some clothes on, along with my jacket and shoes.

Mattia: where you going?

'Somewhere away from you' i thought to myself as i just walked out the door ignoring him.

Mattias pov
(From a while ago before he told kairi he didnt like him)

Fuck fuck fuck.

I should have never done that. Hes going to hate me now. More importantly him and everyone else is going to think im some soft fag.

I put my hand on my face and dragged it down to my chin.

I cant risk ruining my reputation. I cant risk loving him. Hes only gonna get hurt.

I need to stop doing shit like this.

Just tell him you dont like him. Let him down gently.

I smacked my face with some water and grabbed a towel and rinsed it with warm water and nodded to myself.

I walked out with the towel and threw it at him.

Fuck im already messing up.

[repeat from last chapter]

Mattia: i only wanted to fuck. I have no feelings for you, so dont get the wrong idea.

FUCK WHY DID I SAY THAT!?

I glanced at him and His smiled disappeared and he looked away.

I didnt mean it to come out like that.

[back to da present doe]

He got up and left without saying anything

Me: fucckK, what did i do?!

I quickly got up and walked around the room before hearing the front door close. I quickly looked out his window and seen him walking. He turned his face just a little and i could of sworn i seen a tear drop down from his face.

Its too late. I cant do anything. He's already gone.

I sat back down and looked at my phone.

I sat it back down and debated on if i should text him.. what would i even say if i did text him?

Another song: i got everything i wanted- billie eyelash👁👄👁(slowed and reverb)
Kairis pov

Tears started to leak from my eyes but i tried to keep a strong straight face. I bit down on my bottom lip, hoping i wouldnt break down completely.

I walked to the woods. Its a place where i always went when i was a child. I felt safe here oddly enough. No one was here to judge me.

I sat on a tree log and started to burst out crying. Trying to wipe every tear that fell from my eyes.

Me: w-why does everyone leave me?
I sob quietly.

Me: everyone leaves once they get what they want

I held my hands in my face.

I started to get flashbacks.

Flashback~ swoosh

Me: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME EMILY?!

Emily: because i dont fucking like you kairi! Dont you get it? I only needed some clout.

Me: so what now? Your just gonna leave me here?!

Emily: yeah thats like the whole point
She said tapping her head, mocking my stupidity

I was frozen.(olaf) i couldnt speak. Emily had cheated on me. I soon later found out she had been stealing stuff from me. Including my heart.

She left me broken. I was depressed for years, not wanting to trust anyone. I was soon then suicidal. I started to cut myself. I would cut myself until you seen pink skin and dark blood.

I stopped once my mom found out. She wasnt happy because the same thing happened with her and my dad. Thats why he's never around. She was sad and disappointed in herself because she blamed herself for passing her depression and suicidal thoughts onto me.

She begged me to not leave

Mom: kairi listen to me honey, your so perfect. You deserve to be in this world. God had a plan for you, all of this is just a challenge to see how strong you are

She said with tears in her eyes, while holding my bloody arms.

Me: b-b-but im not strong! I cant take this anymore!

I quickly got up and yanked her hands away from me and ran to the kitchen grabbing a knife.

Mom: kairi! Dont do it. I promise you baby that wont help it. Or make things better

She said with tears falling down her eyes.
Maiya soon came in confused but quickly realized what was going on.

Maiya:w-whats happening to br-brother mommy?

Maiya was really little so she didn't understand.
Mom looked at her quickly and covered her eyes,

Mom: maiya go to your room

She tried pushing her. But maiya now understood what was going on and was too quick and came towards me.

I got scared.

No i didnt hurt her.

Maiya: kairi! You cant do that! Your gonna make us sad!

Maiya tugged at my shirt almost starting to cry too.

Me: i- i have too.. its the only way

I said pushing her away. She ran up and hugged me tightly and started to cry.

Maiya: NO YOU DONT! Please kairi i need my big brother!

Maiya dug her face in my stomach while cuddling my waist.

My mom came up to us and took the knife from my hands and hugged me as well.

I couldnt hold in my pain anymore. I broke down and started to cry with them.

Once our crying settled down my mom spoke.

Mom: kairi you need to promise me you wont leave us purposely.

She sniffed and stuck out her pinky.

I hesitated but decided to make the pinky promise. She hugged me.

Mom: im so sorry you had to deal with this alone.

We all sat on the kitchen floor crying and hugging.

A month later we moved because it was too many horrible memories.

I didnt want to trust anyone still. But soon i met mattia. And now im even more fucked up than i was last time.

Flash back ended

I hadnt realize i was crying so loud. I heard footsteps and it cause me to jump up slightly but sat still.

??: you man you good?
Someone said in an almost aggressive tone.

The person voice sounded familiar.

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Better understanding of what his mom meant hehehehehe and background