M U T E

|| 16 ||

At last, it's midterm week. My gym torment is over. They stopped with physical abuse because of something Bryce did, but that didn't stop the verbal abuse. I haven't talked at all besides that night. Vienna somehow has gotten to me, so I stopped talking. I've spent the last week studying. I basically shut everything and everyone out. My job applications have piled up on my dresser. All of them have not a single word on them. They lay untouched. We have 4 days of midterms with two tests each day. On the last day, I have my English and Lunch period. That means I get to leave after my English is done, and I won't come back till after vacation. Amazing.

* * * *

I'm exhausted. After a week of midterms, I am finally done. I turn in my English midterm and wait for the bell. I'm the last one done, and it is 2 minutes to the bell. "Wasn't this week fun?" Bryce asks me. I'm just glad it's over. I don't reply. When the bell rings, I rush out of class. I didn't even wait for Bryce. Oh well, maybe he'll meet up with Jocelyn or something. I go to my locker to grab my book bag. When I take my bag out, however, I find a box sitting there. I take the box in my hands and open it. There is no name on it. All that's there is a plain necklace chain. Hm. I close my locker to discover Bryce standing there. That startles me, causing to me to take a step back. "You like?" He asks. Did he give me this? "Let me put this on." He turns me around, puts the necklace on around my neck, then he turns me back, so that I am facing him again. "I think it's missing something," he says, reaching into his pocket. He takes out two charms, "Here is a book charm. This is because books and reading make up a big part of your personality that I love," he connects the charm, that is in the shape of a book, onto the necklace, "and this is a Christmas tree. I give you this because I gave you these charms and the chain for my Christmas present," he connects the Christmas tree charm onto the necklace.

This gesture is what gets my voice out.

"Beautiful," I say, "Bryce, Thank you."

I let out a sigh of happiness and my smile comes out for two seconds before taking it right back. 

"It might have been just a flash of a smile or my imagination, but that's enough to make me happy. I like to see you happy," he says, smiling wide.

He puts his arm over my shoulders. 

"Let's go," he says, and we walk together out of the building.

* * * *

I wake up on the first day of winter break to Jocelyn shaking me awake. 

"Reyna! I need your help!" She says. 

I blink my eyes open, "w-what?" 

"I'm going to lunch with Bryce today at noon. It needs to be perfect! That means I need help with what to wear and everything! It's, like, our first date!"

My hand goes to the necklace that he gave me. I hold onto the charms, and hold back a smile. 

"Okay," I say. 

I follow her into the guest room where Jocelyn and her sister are staying. I haven't talked to Jocelyn's sister much. She usually is with the boys or in this room doing whatever. Today, my mom took the boys and her out. I don't know what they are doing exactly. Jocelyn starts taking out some of her clothes. 

After going through many combinations, we finally got the "perfect" outfit. It is a casual white dress with pink flowers like a border on the bottom of the dress. I help her with her makeup and straighten her beautiful, long, dark brown hair. She looks amazing. I've been living here for years, and her skin is already so much darker than mine. I guess that's because I stay most days inside. She's been out at the beach and out in the backyard, tanning, ever since she arrived here. It's a little colder now, so it is definitely not beach weather anymore.

Her height has grown a lot too, but she's still shorter than me. Still, I don't stand very tall at 5'3". She is only about half an inch shorter. As I watch her leave the house, I get this unfamiliar depressing feeling. It's in my chest, and it travels down to my stomach making me feel sick. I go up to my room, trying my hardest to ignore it.

Two hours later, I'm in my bed wrapping Christmas presents. I pick up one of my most precious books, Lost.

"What are you doing, Reyna?" Myra asked.

I don't know what was going through my mind while I was looking at this book. It used to mean so much to me..I wanted to keep it, but then again I didn't. Why don't I? Well..

* * * *

"You know what book I've been dying to read?" Bryce asked me as we were walking through the local library together.

I shook my head. 

"It's called 'Lost.' I've been looking everywhere for it, but I can't find it. No one has even heard of the book. They show me all these other books when I ask, but none of them are it."
Oh. I know why.

* * * *

I told Myra what Bryce said about the book I was holding. 

"The reason that he can't find it is that it isn't in stores. You can't find it anywhere because the author doesn't sell it anywhere. She used to have it up online, but she took the book down. She thought of the book as a failure. I know the author personally. That's how I have this book. She used to love the book. People were sending in reviews. It could've become popular, maybe, but she dropped it all. She took it all back. She thought it as a failure. I don't know why I keep this book even, but I know that this book has a special meaning that will come apparent to me someday. Still, it's hard to let it go. Now I don't want it. I don't know why I don't want it, but I don't." I said. 

That's a lot of words for a quiet girl like me. 

"Reyna, give it to Bryce. You've read it. You've read it more than once. I think that you want to let it go. I think you want someone else to experience the amazing things this book gives. You should let Bryce have it," Myra told me.

I look down at the necklace that he gave me. The book is what he wants. I know that it won't be a present that he already has because there's no way that's possible. I get the wrapping paper big enough to wrap the book. I don't want to part with this.. It's so special.
My eyes glance around the room to the closet. I look at the crumpled piece of clothing on the floor of it. It's the sweatshirt I never gave back. My down feeling gets lifted a little as my feet go toward it. My hands are picking it up, and that's when I know. I let go of the sweatshirt. I let it fall back to the floor. I go back to my bed, and I wrap Bryce's present. It's what he wants, so I will give it to him.