M U T E

|| 21 ||

It seemed like time started going by really fast because now it's time to start counting down. When it got to ten that's when everyone started shouting. Myra and I are still outside. She's shouting with everyone else. I'm not. I watch inside at Bryce and Jocelyn. 

"9! 8! 7!"

Bryce and Jocelyn are both shouting. They have big smiles, but Jocelyn has this other look in her eyes..

"5! 4!"

She turns toward Bryce.

"3! 2!"

She leans up to him.

"1! Happy New Year!"

She kisses him. I stumble back. Everyone starts cheering, kissing, whatever. I trip over a chair leg. The down feeling from this whole winter break has crumpled my heart till it's as thin as tissue paper. I jump over the small fence area that surrounds the outdoor portion of the café. I try to track in my head where my home is from here. It's a 20-minute walk, I believe. I can do that. 

10 minutes into the walk, I hear a car stop on the side of the road. I hesitate, fear crawling up my spine now. 

"Hey, bitch. Did you see Jocelyn and Bryce? They're such a cute couple, right?" 

Vienna. She comes right up to me with one of her friends by her side. I feel my heart stinging as she is making a tear in my tissue papered heart. 

She pushes me, and I let myself fall to the ground.

"You're so pathetic," kick in the side, "you're a loser," her friend joins in, and they both continue kicking me hard in the side, "are you going to cry?" She steps on my stomach, knocking the air out of me, "good," she finishes off with a hard kick to the side. 

The two of them walk back to their car, and drive off. I lay there, unable to move. My sides are burning.

I hear a voice above me say, "are you okay?"

I don't move. The person crouches down beside me, "hello?"

I open my eyes. Tears are threatening to fall.

"Oh good, you're alive," he pauses, "are you hurt?"

I sit up slowly. The words 'I am fine' come to my mouth, but are not spoken out loud. I look to the mystery guy. I think he may go to my school, and he's in the junior class. I can't remember his name.

"You walking home from the party?" He asks, waits for reply, then continues, "I-I'll walk you home. It's midnight, you shouldn't be walking around alone."

He stands up, and gives me a hand up. He continues to talk as we walk, but I don't say a word.

Why did it hurt me so bad when I saw Bryce and Jocelyn?

"This is where you live?" He asks, and I nod, "so, are you okay?"

I nod again, but that nod wasn't true. My heart is torn. He takes my hand, "don't be afraid to say what you feel."

With that, he is gone. I enter my house. My mom is upstairs sleeping, and so is everyone else, so I have to be quiet. My sides are in pain, but I have to ignore it. I go up to my room, and since sleep isn't deciding to come to me, I stay up the whole night escaping into my books.