M U T E

|| 25 ||

"You're right, Reyna. I do put up this mask. I just feel like people won't accept me. All I've ever wanted was to be popular with the perfect boyfriend. I had that. But honestly, I wasn't happy still. I just felt like I wasn't being honest with myself about who I really am. I'm sorry for all the mean things I've done to you, Reyna," she says, tears threatening to spill.\

"It's okay. I forgive you. Also, it doesn't matter if a lot of people don't accept you as long as you accept yourself. And, I'm sure there will be plenty who accept the real you. I mean I will always be here," I wipe a tear from her face.

She smiles, "thank you. You really are something special. I think Bryce really likes you. You two both have big hearts. You're meant for each other." 

I blush at that, "I think we're going to keep it at friend status for a while, but thank you."

She smiles, then turns away to walk off. Just as she turns the corner, she looks back, and gives me a small wave. I collect the piece of my heart she held. Great, three pieces back. Progress.

* * * *

The concert is today. I've gotten by well with the three pieces of my heart back, and I'm set to collect more after this concert. For now, I am letting myself be excited for this. I have been listening to VIXX all day through my earbuds. I'm in my room getting ready now. I put my nicest pair of jeans on matched with a plain blue T-shirt. I brush through my hair, keeping it straight. I add the slightest bit of makeup as well. 

"Do I look okay?" I ask Bryce when I get into his car. "You look beautiful," he replies.

"I'm no good at makeup. Does it look sloppy?" I ask.

"Reyna, you look great." I face forward. 

Since when did I care what I looked like? Well, it is my first concert. Wait, that means a crowd, doesn't it?

Panic levels rising. A crowd judging me. People. So many people.

"Are you nervous?" Bryce asks me.

I nod. So nervous that I can't breathe. 

"Don't worry. You got me here."

Still panicking. 

We get there, and my panic rises when I see all these people. I think Bryce can tell that I am freaking out. 

"It's okay, Reyna. I know that it's a lot of people. Just calm down." 

I can't. I hesitate after getting out of the car. I can't do this. I'm about to get back in the car, but Bryce stops me. He takes my hand. 

"You are not backing down," he tells me.

I sigh as he drags me away. When we get inside, he is still holding my hand. He drops it, and we go up to where the stage area is. There's the place right in front of the stage where a lot of people are standing there and yelling. Then there is a higher level. We go to the higher level. It's less crowded. I stand right at the balcony with him next to me. It's calmer up here. Soon enough I can hear the opening of the song Beautiful Liar. It's starting. They appear on stage. Oh my god. This is incredible. 

I try extremely hard to stay emotionless throughout the concert, but it's hard not to smile a little. When they talk to the crowd, I translate to Bryce what they are saying. He's amazed by how much Korean I know. My favorite song Voodoo Doll starts being played. This one I am so excited for. During the parts I knew, I start whispering along with the singers. 

"Jjaekkak jjaekkak da irwojirira."
(Korean: 째깍 째깍 다 이뤄지리라 )
(English: tick tick tick tock, may it all be fulfilled)

"Gajil su-" I stop suddenly.

Now, there's a reason why I stopped singing along, and let me explain it. Bryce's hand got closer, and I didn't notice. I only noticed when his hand was suddenly holding mine. Our fingers are interlocked. My heart speeds up. My vision goes blurry. What is this feeling?

I look up at Bryce. He has a smile on his face, and he looks happy. I look down at our hands. I let out a sigh as I let my smile go for one second.

Our hands stay holding onto each other for the rest of the concert. This has got to be the best experience I've ever had. I never knew that something so crowded with people would be so fun.
We're in the car on the way home now. It feels so quiet after the loudness of the concert. My ears are ringing. It's a bit late, and I'm ready to snuggle up in bed and sleep. 

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Bryce says. 

I nod.

"You tired?" 

I nod again. 

"Me too."

Silence. 

"Reyna," Bryce speaks up again.

"Yes?" My voice comes out quietly.

"I like your music taste. It's interesting."

I like the feel of your hand in mine. I don't know how to explain exactly how it felt, but it felt nice. 

"What you thinking about?" He interrupts my thoughts.

My face turns red, and I hide. His hand places itself on my shoulder. 

"Hey, I'll see you on Monday, okay?" He says. 

I realize we've arrived at my house. I wave goodbye and go inside. 

It's a rough night. I just can't sleep for some reason. I can't stop thinking about him. After a couple hours of struggling, I decide a book will help.

. . .

I read two. I'm still not tired. 

"So, are you and Bryce dating?" Myra asked me at lunch two days ago when I was wearing his sweatshirt.

I shook my head.

"You're wearing his sweatshirt."

I blushed, "that doesn't mean anything."

My voice is a whisper, and I feel suddenly nervous. That's not the only person who asked. Two guys in chemistry asked. A couple girls in the halls asked. I would just shake my head and blush. I couldn't stop blushing, and I couldn't get rid of that feeling. 

It was the same feeling as when he was holding my hand. It's the same feeling as when I'm thinking about him. Like now.