Sam and Colby hard times

Colby brock-cuts

Trigger warning: self harm.

Lately I have been very stressed. I have to edit a lot of videos by Friday, Sam and I have 3 interviews coming up, my oldest dog back in Kansas isn't doing well and my friend Brennen has been bullying me this past month. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep because I'm too stressed to fall asleep at night.

Today I am supposed to go film a video in an abandoned hospital with Sam and one of our friends named josh. I'm exhausted and don't want to get up. I hear a knock at my door.

Sam: hey Colby are you almost ready to go film?
Colby: yeah. Sorry. I'll be down in a bit.

I sit up in bed and stare at the wall. I hear my phone buzz. I look down and see a text from Brennen. It says....

hey faker. I doubt your really too busy to film a video with me. Admit it. You just don't want to hang out with me anymore. And after all I've done for you too.

I text him back and tell him that I actually am busy. So he believes me I tell him about all the interviews Sam and I have lined up and about the videos I have to edit.

I didn't realize I was crying until a tear lands on my phone. I feel like I'm on the edge of having a mental breakdown. I can't handle this stress anymore.  I hear another knock at my door.

Sam: Colby. Are you okay? It's been 15 minutes. We have to go.
Colby: almost ready.

I didn't realize it had been that long already. I put on some sweat pants and a t shirt. My phone buzzes again as I'm putting on my socks and shoes. It's from Brennen again.

Quit bragging about all the interviews you have. It's rude. You think your so much better than everyone else and it shows. Our friendship is done.

I start crying. I'm starting to have the urge to do something that I used to do a long time ago when I got stressed out before I met sam. I haven't done it for 6 years but I just can't take it anymore. I stand up and walk into the bathroom.

I open the drawers looking for anything that I could use at this point. In the 3rd drawer I see broken glass from the bowl I broke a month ago that I had been meaning to glue back together. I feel my adrenaline rush as I pick up the glass and put it on my wrist. I feel shaky and dizzy. I zoned out for a bit but when I look down I see blood running down my arm. I can't believe I just did that again. I hear Sam coming down the hall.

Sam: Colby we have to go. Hurry up.

I jump at the sound of Sam's voice. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I forgot we were about leave. I can't let Sam know about what I did so I grab a hoodie and put it on. I grab my phone and head down stairs.

Sam: it's about time you came down colby. Are you okay? You seem a bit pale and shaky.
Colby: yeah. I'm shaky because I'm cold.
Sam: okay. Well your here now. Let's get in the car and go.

We all get into the car. I sit up front with Sam while josh sits in back. As Sam and josh catch up with each other I stare out the window. I'm upset at myself for cutting. I thought I was clean from it. We soon arrived at the abandoned hospital. We get out and set up the camera for the intro.

Sam: Colby can you start the video?
Colby: what's up guys it's Sam and Colby and today we are exploring an abandoned hospital with our friend josh.

I tried to seem energetic and happy because I don't want Sam to suspect anything. As soon as the camera stops recording my smile fades. Sam picks up the camera and we head into the building. I offer to hold the camera and record because I don't want to risk having the viewers or Sam see my cuts if my sleeves moved.