The Starr In Her Darkness

Chapter 2

A/N WARNING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND STRONG LANGUAGE.

Later that evening, while cooking dinner and waiting for Jerry to come home. I couldn't stop thinking about Axel, his eyes, his touch and what I'd found out about him after I looked up Starr childrens home like he said. And I still couldn't believe it, he had opened and helped run the childrens home. He had no family. After his grandparents died 6 years ago. He was CEO of a charity for low income family's too. He was a Saint of a man. Surely he had to much on his plate already and didn't need my problems bothering him too. I needed to forget about him, I couldn't bother him with my problems too.

It was half 8 and Jerry still wasn't home. I'd eaten alone and cleared my plate and stored the left overs. I got a feeling he was with her. I text him to ask where he was. And sat waiting for a reply. But got nothing. By 9 I had given up waiting so made my way to bed. As I climed in bed I started to wonder what my life would be like without Jerry. But then soon came to the realisation that I'd never be free from him, he had told me this on many occasions. So I slowly gave up on the idea. As I slowly started to drift to sleep all I could think about were those blue eyes, Axels blue eyes.
I was woken by movement in bed, I looked at my clock 1:17am. I could smell the alcohol on him and a slight sweetness, a lady's perfume maybe. So he was with her. Why couldn't he just be honest with me and we could get a divorce and I'd be free, alone but free. I don't know why I didn't feel sad or hurt anymore maybe I've just become immune to his shit. I was so shocked earlier when I heard them talking but now, I felt disgust and just wanted out of this shit. But how, I had no idea.

I don't know what time I finally fell back to sleep. But I felt like crap this morning. It was just after 7 I could still hear Jerry moving around downstairs. Feeling brave I got up, wrapped my robe around myself and made my way downstairs to him. He was sat at the kitchen table drinking his coffee while on his phone. I made my way to the coffee machine and started making my coffee. What was I gonna say to him I wondered to myself, now regretting this dumb idea to try and talk with him.
"you got home late last night, I did put your plate in the fridge" he didn't say anything for a while then slammed his phone down and looked at me with so much hate, I started to sweat.
"work" was all he said. In 2 minds weather to bite the bullet and talk or to just stay quiet.
"we need to talk Jerry... I.. I... Think we.. I think we need to maybe" and before I could finish he stood up and walked to the sink and snarled "what, we need to what?" I was to scared to turn round so I just stood there trying to steady my breathing. Before I knew what was happening he pulled my hair and made me look at him. "what was you going to say... Huh... Look at you, you never make an effort anymore... Its no Wonder..." he let go of me. I went to walk upstairs but before I could he had me up against the wall hand round my throat. "Jerry.. I'm sorry.. Please let me go" I managed to get out. He back handed me with his other hand. "shut up just shut up... Your mine Amethyst, do you understand. You ain't going anywhere. Who would have you anyway, look at you." hot tears were streaming down my face and I was finding it hard to catch my breath at this point. His hand moved to between my legs, I tried to move but I couldn't he moved his hand from round my neck and put his forearm across my chest instead. He put his hand under my nighty and into my thong, slipped 2 of his fingers into me and hissed "this is mine" as he pulled his fingers out of me he cupped my vagina and then moved away from me. I was a wreck at this point, sobbing. I quickly covered myself with my robe. WHACK I saw stars and didn't realise what had happened for a few seconds untill I saw his hand coming back towards my face and before I could move WHACK again. I turned to run and got as far as the stairs before he was on me. Pushed me face first onto the stairs before turning me over  and ripping open my robe "don't cover up from me baby girl" I felt sick physically sick I just wanted to be away from him away from here. "LET ME GO" I screamed. "shut your fucking mouth" he spat while covering my mouth.
I tried to silent my sobs and relax in the hope he would get off me. After a minute or two he eased up and slapped me again. Before storming out the house. I slowly got up and walked upstairs to the shower. The pain radiating from my back was absolute agony. I climed into the shower and slid down against the tiles and just cried and cried.
Sobs still racking my body as I washed, wondering what I did so bad that made him snap like that. I was trapped there was no way he would let me go not now.

As I brushed my teeth I could see a bruise starting to appear on my check just by my mouth. As I rinsed I was spitting blood, I tounged my check and sure enough it was cut from the blows I took not too long ago.
I dressed in baggy tracky bottoms and a hoody, all I wanted to do was hide away and forget it all. I had to try and figure out a way out of this hell, I couldn't keep on like this. He would be the death of me if I didn't get out soon. But how, I had no one, no family and no friends since I'd been made to quit my job. I had nothing. My eyes burnt with unshed tears.
I went about my normal routine of housework. Dinner time came and went and no sign of Jerry, so I made my way to bed alone thankfully.
The next morning I woke, and my god was I sore. I looked to Jerry's side of the bed and it was untouched. He didn't come home last night. I had a sinking feeling that something had happened to him. I checked my phone, nothing. It was 7:23am so if he did come home last night he would still be here. I snuck downstairs and heard him moving around in the living room. I quickly made my way back upstairs and waited till he left. When I heard him leave I went back down and could see he had slept on the sofa, from the spare blanket and pillow still laying on the sofa. He'd only ever slept on the sofa a few times before. The 1st time was in fact the first time he'd layed a hand on me, said he couldn't bare to look at my face and see what he'd done. And the other time was when he messed my face up pretty bad leaving me with a black eye and a split lip. He never seemed to care much about how badly my body was hurt, I guessed it was only what he could see that bothered him.

As I was just putting out the rubbish later that morning a car pulled up, the same car that had stopped outside the dealership!! SHIT!! It was Axel, I quickly turned to walk inside but he called after me "Amethyst, wait" I stopped and turned only partly because I didn't want him to see my face. "how are you, I'm sorry I shouldn't be here I know... But I couldn't stop thinking about you" he said in that deep soothing voice. "hey... Look at me" he sighed and turned my face to look at him. The look in his eyes was a mix of anger but also hurt. "it's nothing, I'm fine" I whispered to him while making my way to the front door. He followed me and for some reason I didn't stop him. He shut the door behind him.