The sins Ateez x Yeosang

08

Yeosang's pov

I staggered out of Wooyoung's bedroom, biting my bottom lip harshly. I entered a bathroom and popped a couple ibuprofen to numb the pain in my hips.

   I can't stay this weak excuse of myself. I have to return to the happier me I was— before the incident. The me before college. The carefree, kind, self confident me who loved the world.

   I want to be the me who loved food. I long to be the Yeosang who cooked and baked daily. I wish to be the Yeosang who ate normally.

I gathered everyone in the living room. If I was going to be a game, I would be the hardest one possible. I wasn't going to let them play me like a game of Uno. Not in a million years.

  Even though I like San and Wooyoung, they won't get special privileges. Even if we've already had sex twice, I won't let them walk all over me. There's a line they cannot cross.

"It has come to my attention that you guys knew me from two years ago, when I was drunk. It has also come to my attention that whomever slept with me first got to "have" me. That's not how my body and mind works, boys. I am not some item you can own."

"I am not some silly item you boys can fight over and- and screw whenever you feel like it! I may have kept San and Wooyoung take my first and second consensual times, but does that make me theirs? Does that make me their sex doll? Absolutely not!"

"If I had known this, would I have slept with them? Probably eventually, but not so soon! If I had known, I wouldn't have given myself away so easily! I still have my own free will; don't try to control me! Unless I have a ring on my finger, I'm my own." I seethed, rage and hurt lacing my every word. A tear nonetheless fell down my cheek.

"Am I really just a game to you guys? Am I just a toy to play with until you're happy?" I cried. It seemed tears were all I could produce these past few days. I only seemed to cry constantly. My eyes were red and ached with each tear shed.

"Am I just someone you can play with?" I asked the air. No one responded. They all looked at me concerned.

San and Wooyoung came close to comfort me. I pushed them both away and curled in on myself on the carpet. I sat in a ball, my arms wrapped around my legs tightly.

"No! I don't want to be a game to you guys! I'd rather be dating Wonho and Hyungwon both than let the seven of you toy with my emotions and body!" I sobbed. My body was wracked with sobs as I cried alone on the carpet.

"Yeosang, come here..." Mingi mumbled and sat beside me. I jumped into his arms and cried harder. He pulled me onto his lap and consoled me sweetly. He gently rubbed my back and caressed my hair.m

Eventually my sobs reduced to small sniffles. I pulled my face away from Mingi's chest and smiled sheepishly at him.

"We didn't know you felt this way, baby. We're sorry we made you feel like you're a game. You're not; you're our love. We'll do anything for you." San smiled.

"Anything?" I asked to clarify. They nodded their heads.

"Believe In me that it was Wonho and Hyungwon. You don't know how bad it hurt to hear that only one out of seven men believed in my experience. Just, please, believe me." I sighed and looked at them all pained.

"Yeosang, we've known Wonho and Hyungwon for years. We can't just easily believe they would rape someone—"

"Then come with me to meet them, Hongjoong. You claim to be such good friends with them anyways. Why not just hide out as we talk and find out the truth of what happened?" I asked the wrathful male. He sighed and nodded his head.

"Where do they live? I want to get my closure as soon as possible." I mumbled and stood up from Mingi's lap. I blushed darkly and apologized to the taller male.

"Nah don't worry, I kinda liked having you sat on my lap." Mingi smirked. I smirked back.

"Don't make me jump your bones, Envy." I teased and turned back to Hongjoong.

"Let me get dressed before we go." I blushed and cautiously walked up the stairs. I grimaced at each step from the pain in my hips that still hadn't faded fully.

I quickly got dressed and met Hongjoong at the door.

"Are you sure you're ready to face them?" San asked from behind me. He had his arms crossed as he gazed worriedly at me.

"I'll be fine, but maybe I need a kiss for strength?" I pouted. He ran up towards me but was pushed away by Hongjoong, who kissed my cheek.

"Let's go, Yeosangie." Hongjoong smiled and laced our fingers together. I waved to San and allowed myself to be pulled away by the older male.

"Hongjoong, I'm scared. What if they try to take me again?" I asked fearfully and squeezed his hand lightly. He squeezed back.

"I'll protect you, Yeosang. Count on me please," He asked. I nodded my head and allowed him to lead to their house.

I knocked on the door while Hongjoong hid. Two eerily familiar men answered.

Cutting it a little short, guys. I want the excitement to be its own chapter. :)