Flowers Are My Feelings

6

He always asked himself if he would choose to leave or stay.

That was before he got hanahaki.

Junho remembered the first daisy he had coughed up, just the small flower was enough to make him terrified.

Seems like he was going to leave after all. He got no choice anyways.

They would be better without him. He doubted they would notice anything different. The hard part would be telling them.

Yes, he wanted to stay so bad. Well, once upon a time he wanted to stay. But now, it would be better if he left.

Telling them would mean that he are going to lie. He didn't want to be that asshole that just disappeared without saying goodbye. But he knew they were going to try to make him stay.

Only if they hadn't been too late.

Junho smiled bitterly for himself. Their faces would make his lie falter, maybe just for a moment. Though, he would never let them find out. They deserved better and he deserved to suffer in silence.

It was his fault for falling so easily, falling for people that would never feel the same. That was his curse.

Cha Junho was meant to never fall in love. He knew his feelings would disappear with the surgery. And that's that.

He would live on, but never fall in love again. On the same time, his "friends" would never exist for him. They already forgot him by that time, hopefully. Junho knew it simply was meant for him.

Who wants yo be friends with the quiet guy?

Robot.

Hey, don't talk to him.

I heard his parents are abusing him or something.

Lies. Only Cha Junho alone knew the truth. And he would carry the burden of it alone.

Do you want to stay?

Does he got a choice?

[...]

He sighed heavily as he arrived to his and Eunsang's shared dorm. The last lesson just ended and the day went by like usual, boring and somewhat gray.

Junho didn't even notice how the colors drained out of his life.

Lunch was probably worse, he had spent most of that time gurgling up daisy's and petals. After that, Junho had lost his appetite.

For the first time in a while, he noticed how thin he was.

This disease was going to be the death of him...

He was used to the blood by now. Small, pretty drops coloring the flowers. He was happy no one had caught him in this condition. All he could imagine was their disgusted gave and pity.

You don't really deserve to be pitied.

The male shook his head and pushed down the door handle, opening the door. It was surprising how dark it was inside, he thought for sure that Eunsang already was home. Junho frowned but stepped inside.