Flowers Are My Feelings

3

Hangyul was unexpected if he was honest. The older was already together with Seungyoun when they first got to know each other.

Maybe he just was pathetic. So pathetic, that he had fallen in love with someone who already was taken.

Junho didn't think he could possibly live again after having his heart broken two times. The worst thing was that he hadn't even stopped loving them.

They never notice. They didn't bother to see beyond his fake smile.

You are a robot.

He wasn't.

You have no emotions.

He have feelings. I have feelings.

If he was emotionless, he wouldn't have to puke up these toxic flowers. He wouldn't have to deal with how they were suffocating him.

Junho sighed.

In the end, he had booked that operation. Without telling anyone, of course. No one should know, he didn't want to weight them down with him.

He didn't want to loose love. The operation would success, but he would never love again. Junho knew that.

He would have forget the love he had for them. The small crushes, turning into something too big for him to handle. Heartbreakers he still loved.

He didn't want to stop loving. The flowers were too beautiful for his lie.

~

"Hey, Eunsang?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think love can hurt you?"

The younger looked at him confused.

"It's not like that!"

He laughed.

"I was just wondering, my sister have been watching dramas."

Eunsang sat back, looking like he was thinking. Junho patiently waited as he drew small flowers and sketches in his notebook.

"Well, that depends. If you experience one sided love or find out that your boyfriend or girlfriend are cheating, then yeah. Love is hard."

Junho grimaced as he straightens his clothes.

"Then I'm never ever falling in love."

Eunsang just laughed and shook his head.

"Falling in love is something you can't control hyung. Besides, love can be truly beautiful too."

"And painful."

"Don't focus on those parts! How are you ever going to fall in love like that?"

"What if I don't want to?"

Eunsang smiled, softly humming.

"That is not up for you to decide. I'm sure you will get your happy ever after. One day, someone will sweep you off your feet."

—

That wasn't it.

He did fall in love. Only not with a happy ending.

Junho has been stupid. Why would they answer his feelings? After all, Junho was just Junho.

His phone rang, the caller ID told him it was Yohan. He smiled, slightly. The older was always worried about him, like a mom. But even Yohan couldn't see the real hurt.

One week.

Then he would do the operation and wake up emotionless. For real this time, he would forget all the love he ever felt. With the pain gone, maybe he could breath again.