Zero Zero

8: even in the face of armageddon

I thought it was go to be dramatic. 

I wanted it to be dramatic. I wanted it to be some big fucking explosion, some big symbolic bang of a violent start-gun as we ran for our lives. but it wasn't. 

not really. 

it was heart-racing, it was crazy, but it wasn't because of all the action. there wasn't much action, not in our first moments of freedom as we ran down the halls.

it only felt so frantic because we knew what was at stake. and down here, anything out of the drain of everyday life in the institution felt entirely out of this world. 

but I had dreamed about this moment for a long time. I never thought I'd see the day for it to come to fruition, I hadn't thought that for years. but this was nothing compared to those fantastical tales. it didn't align with a single one of the many I'd played out in my head over the years. 

it still sent my pulse racing. it still had my mind scrambling with adrenaline and anticipation and fear.

we ran down those halls, the halls of our section, bags in hand. 

but soon we even had to stop running. we knew the noise of shoes, soft as ours were, would draw too much attention to us. we needed to keep all eyes off of us, not only their eyes. 

the loud tapping of our shoes on the floor slowed to a silent pitter-patter just before we walked past an office. 

I had rarely been in this part of the building. some things had changed since I had last been. a few new coffee stains on the wall, some graphite marks had disappeared, the lights had changed from the old warmer tones to the colder ones that occupied most corners of this place.

since I had been moved to this section, I had been more careful. I'd grown incredibly hesitant to make any visible wrong move. I kept everything very well-hidden, all in fear of what they would do.

but here we were, in those cold office spaces. it smelled like bleach and sugar, contrasting the room wards which were at most times scentless. 

the walls were also a warmer, darker shade of grey. something about it was so offputting, though I couldn't place a finger just on why. like each detail was trying its best to hide what it had been so carefully designed to hide, but I couldn't see what it was hiding. or even if it was hiding anything.

after what felt like an hour, even though I knew it had only been moments of tiptoeing, we passed by the last office in the hall. 

but then, frank came to a halt just around the corner. 

I didn't know what he was doing or why. I just halted right with him, and waited for some sort of answer. 

I wanted to ask him why, but I was far too scared to speak. we were so close to freedom, far as we were. it was the closest I'd been since I'd wound up in the institution. I could taste it in the air, in the back of my lungs. 

I couldn't risk being found out. not before I even so much as stepped one foot in the outside world again. if I had ever been there in the first place. 

so I waited. for whatever he was awaiting. waited what felt like forever.

but then the last office's occupant left to go somewhere. I caught my breath in a silent gasp. I hadn't even considered that they could leave their offices at any moment. but he hadn't spotted us, tucked just around the corner, and my heart slowly resumed to where it had been.

the moment he stepped out of view, frank ran into his office. I followed close behind, still wondering what the hell he was doing.

I watched as he dug around in just about every place he could find. I just stood there, wishing I could help, but knowing that the space was too silent to risk asking what he was looking for.