Critique Station 2020

B 1-2 [🌼]

[Paalala lang po. Hindi po ako perpekto. Binabase ko po ang pagcritic ng mga stories niyo sa nalalaman ko at gusto ko lang maging honest sa inyo. Now, if hindi po kayo kontento, wala na po akong magagawa doon.]

TITLE: Ang Aming Mumunting Sekreto
Written by: KEEMOCHEE

➡️Heto talaga eh. Kinabahan talaga ako ng bongga dito. Lalo na genre nito. Hahaha. The title is simple yet hides a beautiful and at the same time, thrilling story. Hindi mo talaga mahuhulaan if you only see the title itself. But then, once you start to read it, parang ginigising nito ang curiosity mo.

COVER:

➡️At first, I was really curious kung bakit mata ang napili mo to be its cover but as I read the first three chapters, naliwanagan ako. And it is really interesting. Suggest ko lang is you change the font that you used. Hindi kasi siya compatible tignan, especially its color. You can use simple fonts with it.

NARRATION:

➡️You are also using the first POV which is good. Also, you use English and Filipino language in narrating the story. The way you blend the two languages are okay and it’s not awkward to read.

TECHNICALITIES:

➡️So far, kaunti lang lang mga errors na nakita ko. Some words were misuse like ‘there’ and ‘their’ which is talagang namimiss natin. Maybe because they have the same pronunciation. And I suggest when the character is in dilemma or just talking to himself, puwede mo na lang gawing italic yung dialogue niya or just stick to the normal one. Also, in the dialogues from text or caller, you don’t need to use open and close quotation (“ ”). You can use brackets [ ] instead.

OVERVIEW:

➡️I’ll say this one more time. The story is really good. The flow of it, the emotions, the way you put some hangcliffers is just great! Hindi siya boring and it’s really exciting to read. You really did a great job on creating this story.

Quote from Shee: “Be inspired by ones existence and aspire to make a perfect masterspiece.”