A Psychotic Tour Of My Madness.

Insomnia.

I have struggled with on and off insomnia for most of my life.

I have too many thoughts.

I can't sleep when I'm nervous or sad.

I can't sleep when I'm too excited or happy.

I can never sleep.

I lie to my family and loved ones about how easily and how many hours I sleep.

They think I'm okay.

But I have nightmares.

I can't ever get them out of my head.

Watching me turn into a monster or seeing what the monsters do to me is horrifying.

I used to dream of a man with antlers in a green suit. He would watch me and try to play. One night I let him play and he tried to eat me, every night after that I would dream of him trying to eat me and find myself waking up and sleeping in my mother's bed.

My mother thought I just wanted to sleep in her bed and I wasn't actually having nightmares every night.

My mother's disbelief that I was actually having nightmares makes me not want to share my nightmares with others.

I think they may not believe me or they will think I'm overdramatic.

I haven't told my therapist about my nightmares, I haven't told my mother, my friends, or my loved ones.

I can't seem to tame my nightmares, and I can't seem to bring myself to talk about them.

-not being believed by loved ones causes severe emotional stress and distrust.

Hi! This was more of a story that a poem but it was on my mind so I thought I should share it because a lot of people struggle with things like insomnia.

I also want to thank you for reading my poems and thoughts etc. I also wanted to share a little about me. I have been writing poetry for about five years, I enjoy spoken word poetry and my favorite poets are Savannah Brown, Blythe Baird, and Edgar Allan Poe.
I am an artist, writer, poet, animator, screenwriter, actor, etc. I am in an art college trying to get my bachelors degree in stop motion animation, after I get that degree I will be going to a different art school and getting my masters in stop motion animation, which is exciting! I think that is all I want to say about me.

Thank you for reading my poems and learning a little bit about me! Have a good day!

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