Royally Flushed

Fading

~Malia~

We had spent the entire rest of the afternoon laying on the green grass on a riding blanket that Louis had laid out for us and just enjoyed each other's company, relishing the rest of the late afternoon sun as it crested over the clouds and cast beautiful golden rays across the rest of the field. 

We hadn't kissed again the entire time we were 'alone' in the field, he just held me in his arms in a beautifully comforting silence and it was the most intimate thing I had ever done, just allowing him to hold me while we listened to the bugs slowly chirping away and the horses whinnying and snorting.  I was the most relaxed yet the most nervous anytime I was in close proximity with him, almost as if my head couldn't catch up to my heart. 

The only dampener of the day was when we had to leave, and that was when he gave me a chaste kiss on my lips that still tingled from the feel of it.  Mar had been waiting at the door of course expecting a play by play but I had been tight lipped as my grandparents were in the sitting room and could probably hear everything we were saying and I really didn't want them privy to my romantic life, but Mar was a different story. 

She reminded me so much of my mother that it almost physically hurt every single time that I saw her, but it was a good pain, one that reminded me I was still human. 

So when she showed up to my room the next morning as I was getting ready for school, I didn't skimp on the details. 

Dressed for the day in a jade green blouse and tan dress pants, she looked even more like my mother than she ever did considering she was wearing my mom's favorite color.

"Alright, so what's going on with you and the Prince now, for real this time?"

She leaned her hip against the jam of my door and I bit my lip as a treacherously large smile threatened to break my entire face in half.

"Honestly...I think we're dating, but he hasn't really said the words yet...but he holds my hand in public, so I think that counts?  I don't really know, but he makes me happy Mar, and I told him everything."

Her eyes widened in surprise at my last admonition. 

"Wow, everything, huh?  That's a pretty big step, are you sure you were ready for that?"

I pretended to think about her question for a moment before responding in earnest, "Yes, I do.  It was time to get it out there and finally tell someone who isn't family or a therapist or social worker.  I needed to confide in him about it."

She blew out a breath of air that puffed a piece of dark hair away from her face, an action that my mom used to do all the time and it was so unexpected that it brought fresh tears to my eyes.

"What's wrong?" 

She rushed forward to place a comforting hand on my arm, blue eyes filled with concern.  Same blue eyes, same dark hair, same freckles, even.  

I sniffled. 

"Nothing, its just something mom used to do all the time when she was frustrated or annoyed or something, what you just did with your hair.  Just brought me back is all," I conceded, hoping this wouldn't make her think I needed weekly therapy sessions like they wanted me to take when I had first arrived. 

"Oh honey, I miss her so much too.  I think of all of those years that I missed out on when she was in America raising you, dealing with that scumbag husband for so long.  I wanted to reach out but I couldn't get anything past our parents.  By the time you were fifteen, it seemed like they were ready to bury the hatchet but she wasn't having it.  I reached out to her but she practically laughed in my face.  The last thing she said to me was that there was no hope for us, that she'd never forgive me for what we did to her, abandoning her the way we did..." Mar trailed off her words and I could see the tears that threatened to fall and ruin her perfect makeup.