Desolation

CHAPTER TWELVE

JOSIE

I often wonder why I care so much about what others think of me, why I constantly feel this need to fit in. Why does the thought of being judged scare that absolute shit out of me? it makes me want to vomit seeing all the girls outside this house. Why can't I just stay in the car with Landon? Drive away into the dark unwanted skies of the night..instead i'm about to walk into one of my biggest fears...Being around a crowd of people.

The house is your typical party house, the grass freshly coated with spilled beer and tin cans, Cigarette buds line the concrete steps and smoke pours out of the front door. The music blaring so loud it makes my head hurt, i look next to me and see Landon shaking hands with some guys but looks over at me to make sure i'm in sight. His dark blonde hair glows against the colored lights beaming from the ceiling, why is he so beautiful? It makes me smile looking over at him and he catches me.

He walks through the smoke filled house and rests his hand on my cheek "Are you okay? Let me grab you a drink come on."

Taking my hand I follow him through the crowd of people. The girls are dressed as your typical Skanks. Short dresses and boobs out, then here I am with my hair half wet and jeans. I feel them staring at us hard as we walk through the kitchen. If Stares could kill i would be dead in a second.

Landon reaches for a cup and dips it down in a container of red liquid and fruit. "It's hooch, I'm sure" he assures me. Not that I care what it is anyway.

The drink tastes nice and smooth as i gulp it down fast "Well easy there killer!" he says with a laugh

"Sorry" i say wiping my mouth dry

"Don't be sorry, here let me get you some more." And dips the cup down in the container once more.

"Landon!!" A blonde girl rushes over to him and wraps her arms around his neck "I haven't seen you in forever!"

I feel my face flush instantly.

"Hey Molly! How are you? it's been a while hasn't it?"

She's beautiful, dark blonde and skinny. She isn't dressed like the other girls though, much more casual. Ugh and the way she's so comfortable around Landon makes me sick. Is he going to introduce me? or am i just going to stand here like a complete fool.

"Here" Landon says and hands me the cup of hooch as he throws his arm around her and walks away.

Did he really just leave me to go and talk to her? I know not one person here and he just leaves me? I could cry a million tears but I can't in front of all these people.. I wonder how long he's going to be gone? And how does he know so many people?

Walking across the room to search for Landon I feel someone tap me on the shoulder.

"If you're looking for him, good luck." A tall brunette girl with a red solo cup in hand. Her glasses are too big for her face as she looks over them to talk.

"What?" i say back to her

"Landon Johnson. All the girls swoon over him when he's around. So good luck finding him now." she says and takes a sip of her drink.

"I wasn't...i mean i was but he's the only person i know here, we came together."

She almost chokes gulping down her drink.

"Wow that's a first. He never brings any girls to parties with him."

Should i take that as a complement?

Holding her hand out to meet mine she says "I'm Melissa"

"Josephine... i mean Josie" I say back nervously. I'm not good at making friends much less keeping them.