Hell the title doesn't have to make sense, this is a journal, where all my thoughts are confined perfectly within this website, for some reason.
I can only hope this becomes like my other non-main work and vanishes into obscurity until which time it's relevant again, or I die. In which case it will serve as my only public communication with...Me, again.
I know not how to grapple with accusations of impudence; not so much that as it is that my point is easily defended from my shoes and trampled on by others, so perhaps not a point at all...But I digress.
In a day filled with revelations about people I thought I knew well, the night was capped off in an oddly similar fashion, and as stated above, I know not what to think of any of the subsequent 25 minute conversation.
Only that I've more or less shut down.
I don't eat normal. Maybe twice a day, if I force myself to.
I don't leave my apartment, either. I have a single friend whom with I spend time, including tonight, and who I now have to question as to whether or not he's really been a friend to me and if I've really been one to him.
And perhaps, as the sun crests over the complicated jumble of buildings to the west, I may come towards it with a certain degree of nuance, but that's not something my depression seems willing to allow me do.
There's a lot I don't know or understand at this point in my life, but I'm certain of one thing currently and that is that I've given up on myself.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts
SpiritualHey, maybe I'll actually commit to this thing. hah. hah hah. On a serious note, this is something not necessarily meant for anyone to read. But I will not stop you.
