You haven't experienced life the way I have, the way I've lived it. No one has, because everyone is 'uNiQuE'!
I've experienced it like a slow drag through a pile of shit like everyone else, but I get to be constantly questioned and constantly anxious and prepared for the worst. It's basically highschool, minus being a kid, and having to pay rent.
I try not to say that too much. I feel like a jackass saying things like 'no person alive has ever experienced this' but I feel so trapped in my own head, and that everyone I've ever met and who I ever will meet views me as just slightly less than they do others...
And maybe that's a paranoid delusion, to think the entire world is out to get me in a sense, and I've sure caused a good chunk of the strife in my life, but it still feels like something I'll never be able to make anyone understand, even therapists. I wish I could describe the feeling more aptly but it's literally like being an alien in one's own mind.
But I digress. It's a lot to tell to anyone with ears, especially the ones who don't care at all. And perhaps you don't, either, and that's okay. I wouldn't blame you, it isn't your obligation. We're not friends like we used to be, not anymore. Maybe I made a mistake all those years ago, maybe I didn't. And maybe I'll find a point in my life where I will look back at all of this as such a small, useless blip in this entire existence, and laugh, while my kid pulls on my pants leg and my wife rushed me out the door to a play. Maybe someday, eventually, I pray, the stressors in my life will be worth it.
But for now.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts
EspiritualHey, maybe I'll actually commit to this thing. hah. hah hah. On a serious note, this is something not necessarily meant for anyone to read. But I will not stop you.
