Uncontrollable

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I'm up on my feet running to my sword. I turn around to expect a blow from Hector but he's watching his pawn, Azrael. Her sword was missing, and Tony was on the floor in shock. All fights were over. Every opponent was wide eyed and shock stupid. Azrael's missing weapon was in the chest of Jeremy.

"No! What have you done? We weren't supposed to kill them! We...we are to be punished. Derek will have a fit," Hector rushes his words.

"Alana," he uses my true name," there will be retribution, from Derek or I."

"I didn't...I didn't...mean to. He jumped in the way," Azrael says looking vulnerable. "He's not dead! I didn't kill him, look!"

And I did just that. Jeremy's eyes were wide, looking for confirmation that it really happened.

Everything began to shake. The only thing that was clear was that my Warrior is dying. I run to Jeremy. And I do the thing that is most forbidden in my planet. I transferred my life into him, in small bubbles of light. The only thing that it seems to accomplish is making Jeremy groan in pain and move, causing blood to seep out onto his shirt and sputter from his mouth.

"What! No, STOP! Please," Tony begs. "Don't you see, this won't help. He's dying Alana," again with this name, "there's nothing you can do anymore!"

"Al…Al," Jeremy’s words are halted by the blood that is now spluttering from his throat. "It's...o-okay."

"Don't- don't you dare start with that! I can't save you! I've failed my purpose to you," I pull Jeremy's head onto my lap keeping his body parallel to the floor.

Jeremy sputters again. "I...No you didn't."

Against all my attempts, tears begin streaming down my cheeks, onto Jeremy's face.

"Stop it...please. Your tears taste gross," he manages a choked laugh.

"You idiot, you're dying, and you still manage to laugh," I take a breath, "I am sorry Jeremy. I should have thought about going into this fight. I shouldn't have rushed. You're dying because of my incompetence."

"It's my fault. He was trying to save me. I tripped and he-he jumped in front of me to block the blade," Tony croaks.

"Man...you are all pathetic. Crying over a gorgeous man. Well, I guess...I'll let you go on. You're not weak, Alana, you CAN bring peace." And with those last words, Jeremy closed his eyes forever.

"Please, stay! Please," I beg, rocking the corpse of my Warrior. It is silent in the auditorium, full of shocked Warriors and students, except for the repeating of my plea.

Please. Please. Don't go. Please. I'm sorry. Please.

Seconds, minutes, maybe even an hour of silence passes, and it dawns on me: I'll never see him. My Warrior, who has brought me happiness on more than one occasion, will no longer be bringing me back from solitude.

"Alana. Alana, I will give you 12 days to mourn. Then, I'll come and seek your decision again. In the meantime," Hector continues but I listen to nothing.

My voice is mine no longer, "Shut. Up." It is the voice of hatred, the voice of a shattered soul. I know this feeling. It's taken over me before, uninvited and unwelcome. But this time, I let my darkest side in, let it envelop me, taking me into a dark room. Another personality takes over. My world turns black.

* * *

IT'S COLD.

WHERE-WHERE AM I?

It's dark and I'm alone. All alone. The room is endless, but I feel claustrophobic. I curl into myself. That's when I remember. Remember what has happened.