He's Not Gay

Chapter 17: Bitch Feels

“Hey, James, bakla!” sigaw ko habang binabaybay ko ang daan patungo sa kuwarto niya hanggang sa maabot ko ang doorknob, “I'm sorry about yesterday — Gosh! I'm sorry!” Agad ko ring naisara ang pinto matapos ko itong buksan.

Napasandal ako rito at napahawak sa dibdib ko, “Shocks!”

Bakit kasi dire-diretso ako? Hindi ko naman kasi akalaing nandito pala si Camille, at may ginagawa silang kababalaghan! Dios mío, mi primo, ¿qué haces en su cama? (My God, my cousin, what are you doing in his bed?). Tingnan niyo, napapa-spanish language ako. Nagulat kasi talaga ako. Nako, isa pang gulat ko, maitatapon ko pabalik sa Spain 'yang pinsan kong iyan katulad ng ginawa ko sa kapatid kong si Ciara. Jusko, naka-witness na naman ako ng gan'ong eksena! Noong una, 'yung little sister ko. Now, my cousin! Bakit ba lagi na lang ako? Dahil ba sa gustong ipamukha sa akin ng tadhana na wala akong jowa? Na wala akong sex life at mayroon sila??? Ugh, whatever! Sila na ang masaya. Tss, I'm happy too. I don't need to feel how much pleasure they were feeling. Whoa, is this me? Cara? Parang dati lang, may gusto akong mapatunayan ah. Tsk, dati 'yon, move on! Teka, ang layo ko na.

“Damn,” I muttered as I shook my head to wipe all the thoughts inside it off.

Nakakahiya talaga ang ginawa ko. Dapat talaga ay kumatok muna ako. Just shit! I can't believe that James is....

“I'm really, really sorry. I should have knocked. Ahm, aalis na ako. I'm sorry!” muling sigaw ko habang nasa labas pa rin saka nagpaalam sa kanila.

Nagmadali akong bumaba ng hagdan pero para akong matutumba nang dahil sa nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko. Feeling ko, pulang-pula ang buong katawan ko at sasabog ang puso ko. God! Natatawa ako na nahihiya, for real. I don't know how I would make myself face them thinking rightfully. I mean, from what I witnessed, how can I look at the two of them without picturing them naked, and THAT position of them that I happened to descry? How?! Goodness, I don't know.

Nasa main door na ako nang tawagin ako ni Camille. Gusto ko siyang asarin ngunit nang makita kong kasunod niya si James ay para bang nalunok ko ang dila ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko o kung paano ko sila haharapin kaya ibinaling ko na lang ang tingin ko sa kamay kong nakahawak sa knob ng main door.

“It's not what you think, bitch, ahm...,” Camille said as she reached my arm to stop me from leaving. “Ahh, ano kasi, ahm....”

Natawa ako sa hitsura niya habang pinagmamasdan ko siyang mag-explain. I never asked for an explanation and I don't need one. I don't know why she have to follow me here — I don't know why they have to follow me instead of continuing what they were doing before I got in to this place.

“B–Bakit? Ano... Anong nakakatawa?” naguguluhang tanong ng pinsan kong kayang patigasin ang kahit na anong malambot. It's James, I mean. Huwag kayong green minded.

“You, hahahaha!” I said before laughing for I cannot hold my laughter any longer.

“You are crazy,” she said looking at me like I am crazy for real.

“Seriously, why are you explaining to me? I don't care to whatever you're doing. In fact, I am so happy that you finally win him back—”

“I didn't plan to win him back,” she hissed, trying her hardest to convince me.

Heard her? Of course, not, but she sounded so calmly defensive. Alam niyo, hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito 'tong dalawa ito. Lagi ko silang kinukumusta sa isa't isa sa totoo lang, 'yun bang isisingit ko 'yung pangalan nila sa usapan? Alam niyo ang sagot? ‘Wala akong paki!’ or ‘I don't know and I don't care.’ Minsan nga, bubulong-bulong pa, akala mo naman, aping-api. Halata namang bet nila ang isa't isa, tsk.